The Open Book.........

Hailing the blue collar

2009-03-06T22:10:00.000-08:00

From the window near my seat, i could see the train changing tracks without a fuss ....i sat thinking about how much effort went into laying the rail tracks for the entire country....the train then just slowed down to a small station with a group of workers still cementing the pavements with jalli (pebbles) and using the mortar to get the smooth look of cement on the platform.
i started to think about the many changes that have happened..about how civilization evolved over time (and still evolving).....the poshy office buildings of these software companies....those highways where vehicles freak out over 120 kmph, these rail tracks all over the country..the towering flyovers and underpasses that mitigate bangalore traffic, the postal system that carries millions of letters across states and cities, the million electric and telephone cables that we cant live without....the list ends where?
How did the wonders of the world get to where they are now....
We are all so used to these..and so used are we to only admire at those glitzy intelligent and intellectual crowd who drive economy and business and technology..true they have been remarkable in their own sense..
But everytime i look up at these so common and taken for granted things around me in a travel or just a moment of reflection....the blue collar is a forgotten class....in those days, it were the workers who moved structures with ropes and hands and on their shoulders....slaves as they were....even now these are the 'hands on' people getting my Puttenahalli underpass going....

is it unfair for us to be involved in sheer intellectual gossip of Whos Who in the world of business and money before realising someone had to do the so called 'getting hands dirty'..so dirty to be covered and buried under the intellectual masses?
The next time you get on top gear on that hosur road flyover, stop to think who made it happen - not just the brilliant engineers who designed and put the plan on paper - but those converted those glamorous pictures into glorifying structures....our nation builders - the less intelligent?

When Auto-mation did not exist in US

2008-08-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

Definitely the US of A is one of the most developed nations in the world. Automated Procedures, crossings, payments, blah..blah..

But Chennai and Bangalore beat the US on a different level of Automation. I was trying to get to the Hotel from Walmart. I did not have a cell phone. Unmindful of the transportation scene, I proceeded to walk towards a Signal at around 7.35 PM in East Peoria, hoping to stop a cab and get in comfortably.

As i observed impatiently that none of the cabs that passed me seemed to heed me, I placed my 4 KG bags on the pavement and waved my hands high up in the air, as though in a cricket stadium, trying to get some attention ( and sympathy )

Atlast, One van that passed me stopped 200 M further and reversed towards me. A Kind Gentleman and his Wife saw that i was stranded and let me in. That was when i realised that unless i could ring a cab, I would be staying wherever i was or worst case to walk all the way back which was around 4-5 Km (but not so safe). These people then dropped me right at the hotel and advised me not to walk alone particularly after Dark.

Though I could rant about the traffic system and the road infrastructure in US, the fact that I could not halt a cab at will, threw me out of gear that, this was all the freedom that i would have while moving around. Unlike Bangalore (with metered Autos) or even Chennai ( with extra ordinary meters), I could still make it from anywhere should i see an auto passing by.

To me, this is the highest level of Auto-Mation and Sophistication in Life. and the freedom to move. Are you moved?

Trying to project..

2008-02-02T00:57:00.000-08:00

The title is about a verb and a noun. a noun that assists the verb than is the case usually.

i have been in it for last eight months. it is meant to be read in caps.

after spending some 2 months into this, i realise you have a problem introducing yourself..strangely enough..

hello, what is your name....what is your level..seemed insufficient.

so when this guy meets another one in the lift..a known one ofcourse..the first question..which project..? anything less than a client name seemed untouchablish....

so if you want to avoid strange glances, you would rather start..i am actually shadowing blah blah ...(with a shadow of doubt)

so when one would not be willing to work really in some other govt office..one searches for work in IT..and deeply enough..networking for working..

so one would attain moksha only if one gets into a project..it seemed.

and lot of times, one would feel uncomfortable stating that one is on bench.

i have been on bench for the most part of stay until now..and the only thing i realise is noone wants to look at the bench as a learning period. a period where one would sharpen his skills and be ready for the still to come work.

its a catch 22 situation. they say. u need exp for work and vice versa.

and while thats true to some extent, it cannot be agreed fully. when one has all the resources, and all the time..its probably the best time to do what you like and do it well. there is no limit and no scope. you define the scope of your learning. and you decide what you would be in next 5 years, which is a cliched mba Q. but well and truly, once having entered an organisation that realisation takes over and preparing for 5 years ahead becomes a reality.

while we may not be so lucky always....one should get the resuts of true work some day and successful people always defined things by themselves rather than let someone else draw it for them.

The task is to focus and work towards that 5 year goal and God will ensure everything falls into place.

To realise bench is a blessing is not rocket science but common sense. it only requires shedding inertia and showing initiative.

The Man is Back..

2007-10-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Last two years has been the most exciting of times in terms of the blog world for me. I got to know new people. read different styles of writing. absorbed new ideas. and ofcourse a whole lot of things i could still keep wondering..

and after getting into corporate circles, its not easy to keep in touch. as blog is the first in the firing line ( ofcourse orkut remains all time fav).

and So it happens that i did not post for a long time....but yes now i hv access to blogger in office even. so that i can write a para or two as and when i feel to break the monotony of work life. and with broadband hoping to be set up in a weeks time....the blogspot will come back into my life.

and i also request my other friends who hv not been blogging to get started so that we can relive the earlier days..and have a great time here..

tata and see you again soon.

Intelligent Promises

2007-08-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

I remember a famous joke that is often written.

The shop owner teaches the new joinee about two business mantras:

1. fulfill any promise made to customers
2. refrain from making promises

I have never seen a starker example of how a business house can make intelligent promises based on pure mathematical probability and make huge profits.

The E-Zone is a popular consumer durables and electronics retail outlet. The outlet is large spacious well maintained and attracts affluent crowds very easily.

Their Promise :

" If you find a better bargain, we pay you double the difference in price"

Sounds very reassuring. I bet not many will then take to determining the true market price of a good. since it is a format of the big bazaar and other stores, customers are completely sure it has to be the cheapest. is it so really?

i went for a refrigerator purchase recently. i decided to scan the market and searched in around 7 well known outlets. and the ezone. the price difference? Rs 800 higher in ezone. while they did promise to fetch the lowest price.

now that its not the lowest price, customers can take the invoice of teh lowest price in market and claim double the difference from ezone and purchase the refrigerator.

Now The beauty of the strategy:

1. having such a scheme eliminates the need for market research for determining competition prices in market. if there are huge price variance, intelligent customers will try to make ezone pay double the difference. so that can correct the skewed price levels in a more dynamic manner. and they don need to spend good money for determining market info which they can very eficiently gather from customers and that too more faster!!!!

2. now the catch is : will ezone really correct the prices? they don need to! for the crowd coming into ezone, they will not spend a whole day in retail outlets searching for a refrigerator. they wd rather spend it in a holiday outing or a hotel or a movie! so there would be no need to correct prices. if very less customers are claiming double the difference, they wd do well to keep the prices as usual and pocket the huge margin they can get from less intelligent or lazy customers who wd rather pay than slog. that way, the probability of somebody trying to claim from ezone is very less. when the claim s are high indeed, they can correct prices.

So they have not only eliminated effortts for researching into market prices but also use probabilities to make good profits.

and thats the most smartest business model i hv ever seen.

if there can be any oversight from my part, it could only be that i researched the market when a price promotion was on....it might also be the case..but the above hypothesis could also be true. and that is for you consumers to check!

Wonder how efficient our markets are in adjusting to such variances....

Bangalore Blues

2007-06-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

Long time since i m writing a post. even as i am writing this post the trainer has just entered the room n is setting up his laptop ready for the next (possible) dry session on Team Lead solutions ( well team lead illusions would hv been more apt perhaps..reasons for which will be explained subsequently)

i always wanted to write on the new experience of living in bangalore even though i have been on and off here on vacations all my school and college life.

so will try to round up on some specific observations in the one month i have spent here.

1. IT hit me on the face really. from the huge spacious lifts that they have. no wonder for 5000 people working form a single complex, nothing is more simple. its almost like landing into an airport everyday. one will get lost in the crowd easily.

2. Project management trainings are a big pain when Bschoolers r joined with technical ppl. the trainer keeps asking Qs to tech ppl. tech ppl know it n they dont need the training. Bschoolers don understand whats happening anyway n hence don need the training. why the training?

3. House hunt was an unforgettable experience. seeing bottled up houses costing over 10k a month for a 2 bhk was not sth i looked forward to. i bet i have gained enough expertise to pore over the finer points in building a house! its a classic real time optimisation problem!

4. There is a strong correlation between sleep and classrooms rather than sleep and time of the day. i never get sleep at my desk but the moment i m in a training, yawning becomes inescapable be it 10 am or 1 pm. there is also a very strong correlation between power point presentations and sleep with a R-Square value = 0.999999......

5. Bangalore buses, gone nuts ( see latest post of anu), cant even name bus routes in english....that too for a city having huge non-karnataka population..and supposedly cosmopolitan!

6. Given the obscene traffic, If you wanna make it soon to office, do NOT take an auto over a bus..both are same and useless for all practical purposes at 8 am!

7. Automen return a change of 1 re also honestly while the govt bus conductors will not return a change of Rs. 41 also unless being constantly bugged abt it n look at u askance when u ask for a return of Re 1 !

8. I have never seen a PSU more productive ever before. i applied for a bsnl landline on saturday and the line was fixed on wednesday. that is 3 working days for you.

9. Few people wd hv dared to think someone would steal my mobile. a mobile with no other function than sms n talk at Rs. 1200 with no particular eye stealing appearance. i reckon it was the bext handset i had. i hv a colour one now ( ofcourse that too at Rs. 1300 with a lot of facilities) but i miss my old mobile which was easy to navigate n simple in appearance.

10. Bangalore has one of the worst electricity service at one of the most costliest rates ( a bill wd be typicaly 4 times the amount i wd hv paid in madras!) . power cuts are perennial. on hindsight, the electricity board is doing a favour by shutting down power frequently and thus reducing our E-Bill. Post May there is no need for fan helping us more with our power bill.

11. Even newly built flats do not have proper arrangements with carpenters, plumbers and technicians. Suman may hv to consider this seriously.

12. The best lunch u can ever have is thayir sadam in office. a dozen food courts in the cafeteria will not beat curd rice. Guess what my northie colleagues ( who gen don take curd) taste my curd rice everytime in lunch. Thayir Sadam truimphs!

13. For those ppl in office where orkut is blocked, power scrap works. the pitfall is u cant post a scrap but can view ur scraps as well do detailed analysis of orkut profiles as always at home. nice getaway.

14. Bengalooru should be better called Ben-kulooru with the kind of cold i experience at night and early mornings

15. Thats all for now..i don remember much as i din expect to blog today as blogger was also blocked. i m in a different office where this site opened. I hope to get my broadband connection in place soon so that i can live back my IIT days of blog n chats atleast in weekends.

Madras Rocks any day better than Bangalore. Perumal thaan vazhi kaatanum!

Friday, The 13th

2007-04-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

We dont believe in some superstitions..( ofcourse we do in some others)

yet it all seemed like the perfect design....even the date of the event.

a brief prelude..i m a person who has always been the last moment man having a time of life with fate....the list includes the last free seat in engg college, last one to enter mba batch in my college, last day of summer placement, last company, last guy to get placed..and ofcourse so many other last minute happenings in every other walk of life like last minute appearance at major competitive examinations..and i believe i hv devloped a skill ( and more importantly a liking) for such adventures....and i wd hv been really pained if i had not the fortune to get the perfect end to a project life fraught with incorigible planning and hapless execution.

and so it was the fateful friday the 13th which was to be the last of my list of last min happenings..

the scene :

manish, suman and ph to share pain with me. we were given over 3 months to complete a business plan and we ended up finally with just 3 days to successfully submit the same. ofcourse the most of the 3 months was spent rather constructively in making dvd prints of all possible movies and documentaries avaliable on earth. then there was the dozen odd rajni movies and scores of vivek comedies to catch up with notwithstanding the time spent in uncovering telegu movies remade in to tamil, dialogue by dialogue.

the story:

2 pm : we were supposed to be at the presentation hall ready with our reports, ppts and what not.

ph n me still in room. we were not ready with both. i was documenting some changes in the report while he was at the ppt. our life in any yardstick was most miserable.we had done all the report making stuff in our lab and on a system which was nourishing a virus. the pen drive which had the ppt downloaded from one of the biologically challenged computers blew my system seconds after insertion. it looked like some witch craft. we resorted to orther means n tried makingh the ppt again. suman's lappy had drained off. manish had to give his comp. we had no laptops to carry for the presentation. suman n ph had almost competed a brilliant ppt

it was 2 pm as we were still fighting with the report n missed out on our lunch. manish n suman were at the presentation hall n were waiting for us. they called me up n i say we'll be there in an hr and hang up. suman goes crazy n lands up at my room in the next 10 mins. he was to leave for hyderabad by 4 pm and we just cud not delay our presentation any longer..

the other grps had started off their presentations. it was 3.10 when we thought we r done. we leave for the presentation complete the same, masterminded by ph who is famous for his blisterinng ppts with his inimitable style of delivery.

i take a hard look at the report we had made n found there were fatal errors..sorry blunders..and we leave for the lab again to make the changes. and we choose the same virus driven pc and copy the modified file to the drive n to my mail. 3.30 pm it is.

i get the bike key of sudhanshu as me n ph leave for getting the printout. now the bike just does not start..10 mins of non stop kicking n i give up....now i felt like kicking myself.

we take an auto.

if u wd watch the beauty, we r from hostel 13. it was the farthest from som. all of a sudden i begin to hate 13 like anything ( and yeah i happen to be born on 13th in one of these months)

we stop at hostel 8. crowded. hostel 7? we switch on the comp..the comp gets hanged..theguy says we cant do it. so we head to hostel 12. hostel 13 had a crappy xerox guy whom we cud never depend on.

now hostel 12 is packed. it was the btp ( btech project) submission day at 5 pm. n we are there at 4 pm. no wonder we wonder what next. the printer just then goes down. some time is spent in repair. and then finally it is up again. we ask, how long will this take..i get a rude answer....the guy has 150 pages..after that 3-4 guys still wait before the machine like jackals sticking out thier tongue....and getting despo.

we decide to retreat. we go back to hostel 13. yeah we made it. 10 mins of wqait n we got the sysetem. i download the doc from my mail..well not yet....systems blinks..file corrupted....i decide this hostel 13 is always crazy..n run for hostel 9..without a bike it had to be foot on hot day....like dog day afternoon.

i grab a system there in propel my pendrive n it says file corrupted..now the whole cycle is jeering at me. a file modifed n saved in teh virus loaded system will not open anywhere on eartjh. i hv now way now. the last option is to get back to room. remake the cnages all over. n then print it.

i run back to my room. me n ph run thro the doc once again n make all changes. it is well over 5 pm. 5.30 to be exact. the prof ios a visiting prof, n we cant meet him after this..it was the last presentation of the course at the classroom. ph rushed n made a print. as i set arranging them the xerox guy says no binding..ph scampers to hostel 12 again n gets a folder. now i arrange a bike n dash off to som. 5.45 pm..the last of the presentations finishes now....we made it. we submitted the report finally all changes duly made. manish was our time keeper who constantly kept us abreast as to how much time we hv n what best is possible out of the given circumstances..

me and ph then leave for the canteen at close to close time. as i much one of those cutlets we discuss abt the pendrive phenomenon n i jump out..i missed my pendrive..to be sure it was sujay's....u rush to hostel 9 again..GOD'S GRACE it was kept carefully the shop guy..and i heaved a sigh of relief..

i dont know what it felt like....it was not about a submission or a nice grade for whcih we had to slog....

just that the report atleast needed to be okay if not grt....professional if not perfect....

i think we cut a fair deal.

corporate life is not going to be a place for such hanky panky work with all the recklessness we hv sincerley submitted ouself in the course of this course....

only time can tell....anyhow memories r momeories....

and

friday the 13th is the best of them!!!!

The game is over

2007-04-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

and finally the game ended. after 3 tough hours. WCM was a nightmare so much so that reading ash-abishek articles n page 3 flashes seemed better on the night before exam.

and finally the last exam of my educational career will not be a memory to cherish.

however, there is reason to rejoice. i should be able to pass the exam, God's Grace.

a home camp for 20 days n some nice times back with tamil soaps is awaiting me at home. its time for packing n last min photos n some meetings with known ppl in bombay.

it is a long time since i will be back home without the burden of the next task. bangalore is not far off n madras life is some thing i shd enjoy as much as possible in the near future should my base shift after that..

madras..my wonderful madras..i m coming back home....

Setting New Benchmarks....

2007-03-06T01:40:00.000-08:00

I dedicate this post to my dear friend sujay who has completely demoralised me in the past few weeks for reasons that will become clear in the course of this post..so just hang on..right, now read on..

_______________________________________________________________________________

Nothing like 'it' ( read IT)

IT has been a great revelation indeed. It brought with it sweeping changes. lifestyle, job-pay equations changed. real estate went haywire. The penchant for naangu kannaadi suvargal became infectious. Pubs got a facelift with a new thriving 'the young n the glamorous' software professionals. parties were becoming as banal as my daily dose of thayir sadam..suddenly everybody was talking about a knowledge revolution ( though there was no great knowledge in fact :P ) . people were becoming eligible bachelors at the age of 21. outsourcing was a super jargon. tell u what the single most fundamental that IT has contributed has been the supernumerary stupefying jargons which nobody understood yet used in a prolific fashion. english was seen the greatest strength of indians. british ppl for all their brute ( centuries/decades back) were suddenly being worshipped for their seminal contribution to the flourishing of english in the 'land of snakes and sadhus'. suddenly corporate governance and clause 49 seemed so vital to india's ethical standards. cool was the most hapening english word. dude changed to dood changed to God knows what next. onsites became the in-thing. you had to be the infoscian or cognizantian ( famous for long term onsites) who could get brides by the numbers. US was no longer a distant dream. you did not hv to do an MBA to rake in the moolah. two wheelers were left to aam junta. presence of coconut oil on ur head became a rarity. new terms emerged.. DISK --> double income singlke kid. DINK --> double income no kid et al.

In between these developments, emerged a very new phenomenon which i shall now take great pains to describe. It is not only an interesting phenomenon but also something that goes against established norms of work and compensation.

IT has been the leaders in Benchmarking. The parameter though is quite a novel one..

Bench marking in IT for " MARKING OF BENCHES"

for the very few priveleged who yet do not undetstand what benches mean..i got a simple proposition!

what do u do at home when u don hv work..u sit on a sofa...so what hapens if u don hv work in an IT company..you sit on bench!! did it sound so simple? we have not even thought abt the effort one makes in drving past crowded roads and a dozen traffic signals to just get to those benches which r kinda waiting for u . i initially used to dream that there would be huge reception hall which would be well garnished by as many modern art pantings. in the centre of this huge hall would lie long benches on which these young whizkids would be well ensconsed waiting to be called for an occasional project. i m not joking. i really imagined of such a scenario. the picture looked like a a police station which would hv these guys sitting on a bench waiting to bee seen by the inspector. and it was a matter of difference in terminologies betwen the two..about crime sheets an time sheets. or like u come daily and sign at the police station for a bail, u wd sign up these time sheets....

for my cousin who has come home on a short visity..being at home or at office is just a matter of aesthetics....he has a comfortable sofa at home or he can use the bench at office. tv at home is replaced by a computer well equipped with a yahoo messenger and a gtalk. orkut will not be or-cut for a while even though it is becoming an isue these days....suddenly IBM stands for 'International Bench Machine' ....bench experiences can be useful case studies for work conflicts in organisation behaviour lectures. you get paid not for the work but for ur number. IT people needs leaders. and they need them in herds :P . We see documantaries and sirappu paarvais abt how IT people are stressed out seeing the same screen of computer..( yeah they do..how can they keep reading others scrapbooks for so long and find out whos after who..and who are the hot bobs and the babes). yahoo and google thrived slowly because of the software ppl market who hv mostly no other job other than to use these " efficiency" tools !

the syptoms are amusing but nonetheless dangerous. initially people were stressed out that they din hv jobs and money. then they were stressed that they did hv job and not much money. now they r stressed due to good money and no job. perhaps the chairs need to be more aesthetic in design.

companies pay big money just to keep talent. they want to make profits while still operating against the fundamental economic principles. they talk all abt efficiency while the bench does not contribue to the bottomline. getting big deals from clients becomes more similar to the mechanics of marriage fixing in regional india. bench strength is like the fixed assets that they pledge while taking a loan or a collateral for offerng dowry to the boys side! the more the bench strength u hv the more theprobability of getting a huge order. you r hired using atttractive job designations while only Perumal can determine ur future.

take the interview room for instance. in between you and the panel is this bench ( also called a table) which is the barrier. u hv to swim across the bench to get to the other side of the table.perhaps it is a symbolic way of telling how life is.

just like a a guy taking orders in a restaurant becomes a saraku master , one becomes a bench master in IT, if he is unlucky ( or even lucky) .

well, i did opt for IT. and sujay made me sure that i felt small after feeding me with enough theoretical frameworks on the emergence, principles, operational mechanics of benches and the future outlook of these benevolent bench machines.

well, i dont know what i will be doing..i hv chosen it. I hv left everything to Perumal. and looking forward to taste the IT experience.

finally its all a matter of luck. even in my chemical company there were guys who used to do well in training and got worthless plants and i got a good plant after having been through a pathetic evaluation and ending up amongst the bottom few.

So whether one gets into a bench or not is not a matter of choice. but nor is it a matter of talent or so i guess.

whatver, the concept of benches remains as mystic as ever.

all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all bench and full pay makes jack..............

????

isn't that something to ponder....well i don hv a clue..have you?

The Napster

2007-02-13T02:25:00.000-08:00

My dear friends....

this is the story of the Napster. the story of a deep dream. In fact i should say, this is the dream behind every dream.

This is not about the internet age. nor about the music age of copying and sharing music. this is not the story of globalisation either..

This is a different napster.

One that karthik and me cud live and die by it. u need to live through it to experience the method behind the madness..

Napster = One who is involved heavily in afternoon naps.

Take my words. The story of a napster is not easy to tell. We r talking about the trials and tribulations that the napster undertakes. he seeks to seek the truth of sleep itself. the genesis of sleep.

Never has been a period in life as eventful as the last two years. when the solemn occasion of the moment of truth happens at the stroke of two in the afternoon. we don't really possess a gong under our cot. but there is one right inside our belly. and it rings cracking hard as hell can get. and all it requires is that there is enough in the stomach to actuate it. here is a sensor that acts on both internal and external impulses. the external one is the climate and the time of the day. however it is statistically observed that no matter what the climate is, the time of the day takes absolute precedence. punctuality takes power. there is no mercy for late comers here. if it is 2pm u cant afford to flout..

initially i din realize the value of a good window screen. i overlooked the fact that it was so critical to the mission that one has set out on.

well..vallavanukku pullum aayudham!

With a bit of help of bed sheet and stuffing it in the corner of the window i cud assuage the temporary grief abt the absence of a proper light regulation system..the going has not been easy. the bed sheet loosens easily. will power and persistence play a pivotal role in fulfilling ones calling from heart. after all , it is when the eyes close that the heart opens. mind you we do not need light at the end of the tunnel here. the darker the better it is. dreams is where one is enthusiastic about searching in darkness.

There is a driver behind every action. of course barring those vehicles where the driver is located in front. and in the present context it wud be technically correct there is a driver behind every inaction

As a home bred south Indian, it was not hard for me to identify the causal identities behind every successful sleep. all that it takes to get that extra kick from a scintillating sleep is curd. form does not matter here. different forms propagate the same end through different mechanisms. we are referring to the semi solid ( dahi) and the liquid forms ( chaas).

As a chemical engineer i always dreaded those organic chemistry mechanisms which i rarely understood. and i never really loved to understand those biochemistry mechanisms as well. but the psychological explanations of bio mechanisms through concepts of basic organic chemistry came to my help.

there r two mechanisms namely SN1 and SN2 . I choose to call them Sleep-Nidhra Mechanisms 1 and 2.

the first one SN1 is relatively simple. it is based on elimination. and it involves a cation formation. i call this cation as the provo'cation which provokes one to sleep. the form of reagent is the fluid one. the mind is charged with this provo'cation and it creates a centre which attracts factors rich in sleep inducement. the reaction is anti photochemical in nature as sunlight can hamper the reaction. the reaction is fulfilled with the elimination of enthu for studying and the centre rendered unstable by this provo'cation stabilises with the help of a suitable catalyst in the absence of light and a soft bed. we have reasearched into some catalysts - and we strongly advocate the use of " Bhindi Masala" rich in oil as an effective catalyst. this is so because the cation mechanisms need a electron rich substance. oil is believed to accomplish this by the acid reactions that happen in the stomach which release the electrons to the provo'cation. the bhindi masala provokes the sense of laziness so crucial for the provo'cation to be formed in the first place!

in SN2 we have a transitory complex based mechanism. curd in the semi solid form is the reagent used. here, the curd is neither solid not liquid. and it is a very important point and we need to ponder here a bit. since it is in a state of nowhere ( neither solid nor liquid..like manithan paathi mirugam paathi) there is a key psychological element to be understood. the mayakkam that such a confusing form of curd is enough to cause dilemma in our mind as to whether we r solid in our convictions or as fluid in our thoughts..in this confusion our heads spin. and before we realise we swoon down n fall in the bed. the chemical complex slowly becomes a psychological complex and as we r acted upon by two forces in opposite directions. one forcing us to study and the other beckoning to take it easy....eventually the latter wins and the complex disappears with the conversion of the initial substrate ( the mind) from an active form to a passive form which we attribute the term sleep.

I have tried my best to confuse and infuse a sense of biochemical psychology to explain the deeper meanings of sleep.

In all probability, i should be worshipped alongside freud who explained dreams and i hv actually gone a step ahead in determining the fundamental factors for dream which is the sleep itself.

Please vote in my favour and nominate for a Nobel prize. after all sleep is indeed a noble inactivity.

and without inactivity , is there any activity????

The Marathon to Matheran

2007-02-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

The great thing about budding managers is their ability to handle crisis..and when they dont hv one at hand..their ability to create one as well....

and then their ability for planning , analysis and other jargons they can only read about..

so when i was shaken out of bed suddenly at 7.45 pm..i was not totally amused. one guy forcibly dragged me into his room ( inspite of my repeated pleas that i had left a dream unfinished) n threw me into the computer screen with a gleam in his eyes. so what did we have? a bunch of tickets to jalgaon..why? we were suddenly trying to reach Ajanta Ellora caves....and he was seriously not kidding. by the time i was regaining my sanity, 6 ppl surrounded and were dicussing the operational mechanics of the trip..

so 8.30 pm it was. and it seemed inevitable that the next day wd be spent poring over the caves..

5 guys left early to get the tickets. we were 5 left. all had to withdraw money at the ATMs. we cud get just one auto to reach the main gate. that meant 3 ppl. one of the guys pushed 3 of us into the auto in a rare act of abnegation n became the hero. he was to follow us as soon as he got the second auto. what this hero din realise is he and the other guy who wd accompany him din hv a bloody mobile for communication.

we waited for them at the main gate. took out money n stoof till 9.30 pm. the train for jalgaon was supposed to be at 10.10 pm at lokmanya stn. these guys r nowhere to be seen. no way we cud contact them. and it was impossible to reach the station for the train.

as we were thro the auto, we still din know how we were to get together for the trip. and the next bombshell comes. one gangster from the prev five guys calls up from nowhere and says we r not going to ajanta. some chance call from a frnd told us that ajanta ellora is closed on monday tuesday n we were planning for tuesday. goodness, atleast we knew this before we boarded the train!

so finally we werer to reach kurla station. the plan has changed. different stations for departure. and we din hv a clue how to contact the other two abt this new plan. they wd be reaching lokmanya stn, that is , if at they reach the stn somehow. there was only one chance. they shd call us or the other guys..which we saw had lil chance considering that in the lil time they had for reaching teh station, they wd better move quickly rather than search for a phone booth.

and this new train which wd leave for the new place called matheran, ws for 10.17 pm at kurla stn. that was the last train. we declared we were never going to make it to the station for the train. and then we just managed to reahc the station. some gys were still getting tickets. and those 2 awesome guys without a mobile were still nowhere. and just as if by chance, they landed up at the station 10.15 pm arnd. it seems they had bypassed us and went out of IIT thro the other gate as we lay standing waiting at the main gate n screwing our time as well. and well, they did contact them without which they wd hv just gone for teh station scheduled before.

well alls well that ends well. we managed the train. absolutely crowded. fighting for breath at 11 pm. in a hyper crowded train. it can happen only in bombay. crowds at crazy hours. but i guess, we just pulled it off. planning was pathetic but execution was supreme!!!!

what say?

Luxury , Life and The Lord

2007-01-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

Pilgrimages are fun. A detour from a boring life. An experience in itself. Well these are some of the common view points. No wonder the Lord comes last..

For the many thousands for whom pilgrimages mean a tata sumo, comfortable leg space and the shortest route bypassing thousands of devotees, the term has becomes a misnomer. I was no exception.

Take a look at the picture. They are not from a local grp who take part in bandhs and protests! They r army of devotees in Trayambakeshwar! What motivates these people who walk miles on foot to reach the temple, stand all day in congested Qs, sing, dance and enjoy all along the way?

You can see ppl from all age groups - 8 to 80 years!!!! there r ppl just like u n me, who care a damn abt how crowded it is or how much they should endure!! there are lil kids n girls who make no bones abt having to stand or walk long distances.

Look at their energy levels....look at self....inspite of all the comforts of life, there is so much we crib abt..say a cut of internet connection for 30 mins..GRRRRRrrrrrrrrr

It is for teh individual to decide if it is a pilgrimage or a picnic..but let us not wallow in the thoughts that we r so humble n devoted if we visit these temples..they r those thousands who r way apart who r the real devotees....

Hail the aam Junta!!!!

Poor Planning of Time ( PPT)

2006-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

how can one be happy and sad at the same time?

welcome to Bschool life....to the period most sought after. the placement time..infact the only reason why ppl take pains of CAT n a host of other exams..the dreams of dreams of every Bschooler after u r bored of mugging for exams n thot enough was enough n thot its time to think abt companies, careers n conveniences in contemporary times....Bravo! u hv landed into the drudgery of placement period. endless ruthless sessions of Pre Placement Talks aka PPTs.

after attending around 20-25 sessions around its time for introspection....soul searching ( well def soulmate searching was a better job anyday!)

There is structure even in the most fuzzy n messy of things in the universe. and so one can correlate between the crazy comonalities between the preponderances of ppts that paralyse progressive thinking and promote parochial potentialities in the minds of the many dozen scapegoats scathed by soporific sermons of terrifying tycoons of corporate bharat!

i m not alone. i hv got 57 companions to share our grievances. we are having a ball of a time here....and the exercise of attending such talks is the base for experimenting ur theories of how companies operate in boardrooms. The insider view of the placement talks by corporates in B schools with complete histrionics all included.

know what! its been a long while since i ever posted. i cud not hit on a particular idea. but now. the great indian laughter challenge has been well exhibited by these phenomena occuring in the fag end of the year in mgmt schools across the country..i m literally famished. after 8 hours of torture. 6.5 hrs that too almost continuous with a brk of 5 mins only. i reach my room irritated no less but decide i hv to write sth to vent my anger. btw yeah all of us need jobs. but why do the corporates need to make us pay so much for the same.

Disclaimer:

not all companies had troubled us so much. but some really did. and its abt time that we got a break....(tomm a marathon 6 ppts spanning another 12 hr day i guess)

________________________

So here we are. the time shows 9 am. we were "warned" by placecom ppl that we better be there spot on time. or pay 200 rupiah. without a cycle, n not enough sleep either..we can just limp all the way to som n reach by 9.05 hrs. tell u what, the seminar room is dead calm. very serious i think. no? one peep will show that ppl r showing "Casino Royale" until the HR decides to appear to show what they hv on offer.

so the session starts at 9.30 if u r lucky enough. the ranting starts here. we have picked up a few jargons that has been a striking feature of ppts.

Open work culture:

yes we all know that. means u r open to scrutiny. u better behave in office. no yahoo. no orkuts. no blogs. excuse me IT ppl here even considered asking companies whether they allow employees to allow installation of yahoo messenger. IT makkal thirunthave maataalaa????

Case to Case basis:

one of the best jargons used dangerously by companies when asked abt compensation details. when asked how they wd value work experience n what wd be general slab for say a 2 yr work ex guy....the reply is shot at the speed of (E/M)^0.5! everything is case to case. atleast one shd work for kingfisher or a bacardi so that u can get more case to case benefits.

Performance Driven assessment :

Try asking how long wd u take to move thro the ladder at each stage in the corporate circus show n pat comes the answer that they hv pure meritocracy ( huh..so did we say aristocracy? cant u throw some ballpark figure? ) and whats more the fastest it takes from one level to another is 6 months i heard!!!! can u believe it? yeah at that rate the ppl who gave jobs wd have to find fresh jobs in 3 years time!! well....i shd consider taking their interviews!!!!

Dirtying ur hands

and they say u hv to do all donkey work n dirty ur hands. the most abused phrase ( and my fav too) i was left imagining of a situation i always confronted at home....street cricket..i hv dirtied my hands so many times out there on the street....think of it , the likes of reckitt benkiser ( mfr dettol) has good business ahead with such policies promoted by companies.

Analytical Skills:

u need it in plenty. coz they say the job is very demanding. u hv to think on ur feet ( and stand on ur head or what?? Grrrrrrr.....!!!!). and think out of the box. well first get me a box!

Super Jargons: ( IT special)

like integrating all ur applications on a common platform well networked with the rest of teh systms and sandwiched between upper ware, lowerware, middleware , tupperware etc....and leverage the existing potential of the varios capabilities n provide high end visibility of data in enterprise applications for sound decision making....(phew!!!! the effects of sitting in an AC room 24*7 i guess ; - )..what say?

Leadership Programmes :

Like u can be provided state of the art training with rigorous classroom sessions building capabilities( soporofic capabilities)....guess what u r sent to UK, US, Singapore, Malaysia for the same....wonder why go so far when i can sleep even standing in a train journey..yeah networking is a must. take a look at fotos with swimming pools et al....we all now know what networking is....

Passion for work :

well instead...we ask the company..how abt some compassion....passion is meant for 'other' things ;-)

well there r many more....but i need to get to work now....i hardly have time for that :(

check 123

2006-11-23T10:12:00.001-08:00

Blank Spaces..

2006-11-09T10:43:00.000-08:00

i donno....

i hv lost the capacity to blog! i cant find a thing to talk abt. i m indeed depressed abt it. i m feeling more clueless abt writing blogs ( much more than even writing my exams)

but..

i will return..soon..keep watching this space....( cha..as if anyone cares to read my page..irunthaalum....)

tata

Timepass?

2006-10-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Whether it is a matter of curiosity or a personal preference, the fact remains that one of the most admired things for me is a library. smaller the better.

almost at the end of the mgmt programme, i have probably never spent much time reading at the library. same holds true for all ppl here. probably the only time the library ever was filled with ppl was when some pics for our placement brochure was needed.

the intertesting thing abt libraries is just about searching for books. i generally enter the library whenever i came too early for some class or when i had to waste time in between classes. i don come with any particular plan for studying a particular book or subject.

believe me gazing at books even more interesting than gazing at pretty girls ( though i m still to find even one such soul, inside SOM..no offence intended to my classmates or the juniors)

i get elated at seeing super thick books with vivid colours and attractive cover pages. if the title is a super jargon, my ecstasy knows no bounds. the thickness of books ushers into me a deep sense of vitality that i shd venture deep into a never ending quest for knowledge. with a strong transparent cover n a silky surface, a book in hand brings in a lot of assurance and so much security into me.

the moment i take the book in my hands and settle in a table, i feel as if i am going to do a thorough research into the topic..as if my future was all going to depend on that particular book. not withstanding that, i take 3-4 books, all of such gigantic sizes to spur my intellectual interests.

with very less time around with classes scheduled ahead, i go thro the wholle book , admiring all the topics it covers, ofcourse, not caring to do a meaningful study on even one topic. what i do achieve is finding a book worthwhile which i can study later. but study later is a tough proposition. it never happens.

nevertheless, it brings so much of good feelings within me. for those few moments, i feell myself to really studious with some sense of purpose in life. once out of the library, and onto the classes, i find my self feeling irritated abt my whole life n what i am actually doing with it all the while.

in short, for someone who is random, arbit , goal less in life n wants to waste time without doing meaningful, but wants to achieve a few moments of unexperienced happiness, a small library is the best bet!

i really bet!

Travelogue

2006-10-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

some memories. bitter memories. sweet memories.

many times it would seem impossible. it was contrarian to my nature.

Till 12th std the luxury of home was not so well understood. Engg made me understand the same. Life was phased to so near perfection.

I am usually glued to home. I hate cinema theatres and hotels and hangouts. someone must be even thinking that i shd have been in and out of existence 75 years before. I was not meant to be the new age GenX dude exactly. While the company of friends was always there, it was limited to specific locations like ur school and playground and a bit of home, both frnd's and mine. social gatherings even beaches was unheard of.

Till mid of 12th, T.Nagar was my abode. the traffic and the buzz around the chennai city can best expressed by this area. Pondy Bazaar was all the more fun. With a 5 min walk from my erstwhile home, and a school in west mambalam, the longest travel i had to make on a daily basis shd hv been 15 mins on a cycle which was all my travel guide ( though nothing remains now..its all borrowed service)

Then due to some issues, we ( family) had to shift to a suburb from where i had to complete the last six months of my 12th. It seemed so painful. all of them. the silence. the distance. the separation ( all class mates in T.Nagar). and worse, catching a crowded bus at 7.45 AM from NGO colony. going to T.Nagar bus stand and then taking my cycle parked at my aunts place close by, to my school 10 mins away across the subway.

If this seemed any difficult, the next was even more. Engg. To think that I was angry with my akka when she asked me to study only in madras seems now to me utter foolishness. after longing to study in a hostel coz my frnds were also in hostels..all my time was spent only in train trips from college to home n back. endless train journeys..every other day, i can imagine myself in the railway station corridor. worry of cancelled trains or getting caught by TTEs withour that superfast ticket. 4 years went slow and painful. i cut short my classes from mon to wed, just that i cud follow those afternoon tamil soaps as well my mom n granny.

Finally i said i m back home. was i?

After a struggle, God's Grace, i got a job. and that too far away from hometown. i never lived away from home on my own for more than 2 weeks( which was just once infact in all 4 years of engg). and i was in the arid regions of gujarat dusting across the petrochemical complexes. first visit home was after six months of joining job. and the next visit after 6 months. and then the last visit after 9 months. for a person who would visit home from vellore given a half day holiday..my life changed so much.

as if it was not all over..i got admission in bombay. again quite far away from madras.

but ofcourse this year only i hv made 5 trips already with one diwali trip pending. that looks like some record travelling. thanks to a couple of sponsored trips n a couple of urgent trips, flying saved a lot of time, while burning my pockets deep.

next year again, i m not sure whether home is far or near. Though parents will atleast be there wherever, i keep thinking abt our own home, our verandah, thenamaram, vaazhamaram n naarthangaa maram n all. and ofcourse my dear overhead pump which i so religiously primed even in deep sleep!

thinking back, from a non traveller, i graduated to a near nomad.

time will only said whether i m going to graduate from nomad to mad or get lucky enough to have a long awaited homecoming at the sweetest place back on earth.

That is Adambakkam.

Opposite

2006-09-22T04:07:00.001-07:00

Having an opposite view is the fundamental basis of our lives. sounds like an emphatic but standalone statement?

This statement is true of almost every aspect of life and business. lets see how.

every trade that happens in the world has a buyer and a seller. a buyer has some expectation of the value of a product. and the seller has his own. now their opposite views or opposite take on the value of the product takes them to opposite sides of a transaction. and there is a deal. imagine if everybody thinks the stocks will head upwards, there will be no sellers and when everone thinks the stocks r sure to tank, there will be no buyers. so unless there r opposite views on the underlying entity, there cannot be a trade.

interest rate and exchange rate views affirm this very fact that if there were no opposite views there r no forwards, options or swaps.

this is the beauty of opposing views. after all opposite views r the fundamental reason for existence.

take life. marriage in particular. if everyone thinks a particular guy/girl is bad in a certain way , there is just one opinion and the 'deal' of marriage never takes place. what happens is this, a guy finds a girl good when it may not be the same for most other ppl. again the girl might have a excellent opinion abt a guy while he is actually not acc to most other ppl. so one ends up being teh bakra which is not actually bad.(if both r bakras , their relative pluses n minuses will be factored in). this is becoz again for balance to achieve in one's life, there has to be give n take. without this opposing view, the world will come to a standstill.

this bakra scenario can be compared to the balance of payments ( BoP) concept which infact induced me to write this post.

in a BoP, there is surplus or deficit in a sub account. one surplus in a sub account will be balanced by a deficit in the other account.

a bakra scenario is not so bad really. coz, the minus of a guy will be balanced by the plus of a girl and vice versa. as long as the surplus of one matches the deficit of the other, life is good. this is analogous to the capital account surplus balancing the current account deficit. whnever there is a disequilibrium, policy interventions have to take place ( like internal adjustements of personalites to avoid ego clashes)

if there were no opposite views then all engineers wd go for compsci . and if there were market forces only to exist, would there have been someone working for the larger good?

and if GOD did not think opposite, will there have been Men and Women as well?

The Logic for our future??

2006-09-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

How silly can things get in one's life..?

When the underlying logic of important events in one's life is decided by frivolous parameters what more can u say?

we r supposed to be choosing courses which wd decide our future and u dare to know the "thought process" that go into the decision of designing the future! and yeah the thought process of people who had excelled in their respective fields of study earlier ( with exceptions like the author) and ppl who had decent industry exposure and consider themselves too practical ( big joke!)

first of all, we r a bunch of ppl who have gotten extremely bored with life and decided that nothings gonna improve by a judicious choice of courses.

after completing 25 courses in 1.25 years, no one is in a humour to quench their thirst for additional knowledge if there ever was..and no one is excluded from this, the topper not withstanding. so here is the guide to choosing courses @ som. juniors can learn valuable lessons i m sure.

The Ten 'Som'mandments

1. For ppl who hv no problem getting up early..all pre lunch classes only. afternoon sleep is a must. that too full stretch and under the blanket.

2. For ppl who hate waking up at the crack of dawn at 8 am(like me)..take classes from 10.30 onwards..and ofcourse they will not sacrifice afti sleep also. so take courses which start at 4 in the evening

3. Maximise courses per day. strive for maximum holidays per week and choose courses accordingly. who cares if u have classes 6 hrs a day. anyway sleep in class is assured. especially the ERP room Aesthetics and AC effect is a decent bet!

4. If u r a localite, make sure ur holidays r spaced next to each other. transaction costs to home n insti r reduced.

5. Make choices by prof and not by merit and usefulness of course. after all u want a peaceful life!!

6. Check if the prof gives good grades. that is minimum of AB ( like for sales n distribution mgmt) . prioritise courses by probability of grades expected. yes, u can plot normal curves, fix confidence levels. calculate Value at risk due to unhedged exposure..:P

7. Finance is a big pain. more effort and tough to get grades. take vague courses where prep reqd is minimum. and u can gass off the whole paper.

8. Choose courses so that ur diwali holidays n reqd leave can be optimised. after all u got to spend fair bit of time at home.

9. No courses on sundays as far as possible. after all Huma theatre and the many babes crowding around r not to be missed on sundays!!

10. finally ofcourse make sure the class timings do not conflict with your regular yahoo chats or skype voice chats with ur near and dear ones. afterall networking is the name of the game in MBA!!!!

Rain..

2006-08-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

Yet another bore packed session of a vague subject..but with another dazzling display of bombay rains..yeah.... it was raining pretty intensely..all eyes turn towards window view..mine is no exception..

What is so special about rain..well is it really special..?

Rain - The fascination for all ages..continues to enchant everyone from a little kid to a youth to anyone on earth.

A Sign of freedom. Relief from boredom.

Rain is there for u . and for all those around u.

Rain for kids. Rain for romance. Rain for life. Rain for joy. Rain for sorrow. Rain for togetherness. Rain for solitude. Rain for properity. Rain for disaster. Rain for brain. Rain for heart.Rain for mind.Rain for soul.

Does it touch every breath of ur life?

In rains , u can be cold and hot at the same time.

A student loves rains for postponing exams. A professional for taking that odd break from a monotonous life. I love rains for that sleep inducing climate esp when in my hostel room. I know i m blessed to have a bed as good as mine.

As a small boy, rains meant beach in my street....where i can exhibit my marine engg capabilities. build warships. conduct ship races. or sometimes, with all those goldfishes finding its way into the streets, make a mini aquarium. play cricket in a swamped street. with water splashing all over ur face. get a washer from a passerby bus.

u can have all the showers from the heavens. with thunder and lightening. a moment of fear. but also the moment for being near to ur dear.

u can feel Nature's power, when u run for cover. listen to the thunder. get struck with wonder. u don need a skype or a satellite for communication with nature.

why do i get happy inside when it rains outside?

why this simmering feeling of liberation? or is this all mere abberation?

There is no escape from rain. I know it.

It rains not just outside. It rains right inside my heart.

Hero

2006-08-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

The dilemma of every individual ( like me..LOL!)

well captured by Darren Hayes in his Tension and the Spark Album. Song : Hero

HERO...

Outside comfort in the skin
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolutions deafening

I was trying to hide my opposing side
Trying to reconcile my Jekyll and Hide

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother.... find yourself another)

Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection
But in time because you idolise there is only disappointment
I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall cannot have it all

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)

Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother.... find yourself another)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)

Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me for someone else
(Why'd you want to bother.... find yourself another)

Don't need to compromise
I don't need to occupy the floor
There's a danger in boxing in my sin
And all that I am..

It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(Why'd you want to bother.... find yourself another)

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open.... parts of me are broken)

Bored..

2006-08-23T03:50:00.000-07:00

Why does one need to get bored in life? First if all, what does one mean by the so called phenomenon of boring.....?

well, try as i might , cant uncover this mystery of boredom..ppl can get a zillion reasons for not getting bored...quite natural, so is there a way of having as many reasons for getting bored??

a deeper introspection does not help much either..well to make yet another unsuccessful attempt at this intriguing concept..i was bored all day yesterday..i had so much to do ..yet!

then boring is not a phenomenon related to activity or the the lack of it. but then counter argue saying that those activities which were supoosed to fill ur time werent exactly enthusing perhaps? "Managing new business models in a knowledge economy" cud be hardly a way to escape boredom. what determines 'enthusing' or not? its relative..so is boredom!

so the first plot is ..einstein rocks not just in relative motion but also in relative boredom..

Lets say Boredom = f(interest, time, activity, blackhole)

Blackhole???

blackhole is matter which is no longer compressible....if i did get my 10th science text right..why bring poor blackhole in our obscure discussion?

can boredom be equated to black hole? lets try....when boredom strikes u, u cant do anything..absolutely..u try doing diff things..but then one is too bored even for trying..this is coined as " bore to core" when we say core, it means core. and core is related to blackhole.

again what shd one do to get out of boredom....the misconceptiion is fighting against boredom..

wallow in it..indulge in boredom. boredom is a virtue not vice.

get bored. get thoroughly bored. go still deeper. how much more can u get bored. more? but we just said boredom is relative. yes. sometimes u come across relatives who can bore u to infinity. thats why boredom is also relative.

but think again there is a philosophical twist to boredom.

boredom is the state of dynamic inactivity. becoz u r searching what to do. yet being inactive.
this philosophy takes root from spirituality. the state of inaction in the mind is the starting point for release from this material nature of life. so get bored.like me.

i m bored. cant write anymore.
so i log out. and continue to get bored.

hopefully i hv managed to bore out a few ppl if they do read this blog.

My last class foto

2006-08-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Kite flying

2006-08-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

I realise yet again as the schedule gets tougher, the harder its getting to resist from blogging..handling yahoo was easier..

like a wise man said " The only thing i cannot resist is temptation"

I love kiteflying..watching it..just like ur work....u can look at it for hours together without getting bored..nool udarathu namba makkalukku solliyaa kudukanum?

welcome to the kind of kite flying that happens in the closed cubicles of the corporate chambers..strategy means kite flying. kite flying means strategy. no other way. the moment some guy stands up and asks" what has been the strategy of ur company", u r left assured that the rest that will follow will enable u to get a decent sleep, even if u were suffering from loss of sleep the kinds ppl get at this age..

well this term has a speciality in that i never prepared for classes earlier..this time, large qtys oif marks have been mercilessly doled out for class participation and u need to utter atleast some crap in teh class so that u get away with some brownie points..

Designing a strategy for Corporate Strategy course:

Now that we ppl have not been used to studying as much as we do now..its getting a bit harder to change ourselves by 180 degrees..particularly this course demands that we read around two chapters plus two additional readngs and then a very shady case study, do some analysis and waste precious time that could have been spent sleeping in the afti in this inviting bombay climate..and u have other profs also demanding the same..

so what next? we thought..well atleast i surely thought....

i was never going to do so much..hv got only one year to enjoy here, cant afford to waste away so much just for teh sake of such kite flying courses..so meet fire with fire..mulla mullaala thaan edukanum.. i decided..so make a strategy for this strategy course..how to spend as less time as possible without if affecting ur class parti marks..

Its important to understand how the system operates before we try to beat the system..

the process is this..its a tele conferencing course..if u sleep u will show up on teh tv..so anyway u gotto remain awake..the prof enters and almost immediately starts " yes we can start teh discussion"! hey! i thot he was supposed to give a back ground or sth..and he starts the bidding process..

Hands throw up all over the class....now i have never seen this happen..i hv seen ppl only sleeping in all postures possible in this planet..and suddenly as though the world has changed overnight, guys r seen to be fighting for some sidey grades....

so the discussion starts..the prof does remember a handful of guys ( and gals) whom he can call specifically to give their opinion ( right, i m no way one of them)..and the rest might have grey chances of attracting his attention..infact with so much of shoulder flexing, my shoulder musles have become much much better after that dislocation..

Now the teaching assistant of teh prof will sit in one corner, with a sheet of all teh names of teh course participants..as she will go on marking them as they talk..when she is confused abt whther to award marks, she will put a blank face on the prof, who might give the relevant signals for her to clear her confusion..i never noticed her so much before..now that is teh only job i do in the course:))..yeah not to talk of the dirty stares i recieved from her in return:(

now when the guy picks up the mike, he has to say his name and then start talking..and the discussion moves on..first on chapter readins, then additional readings, the clock strikes 7.15 pm..and the prof takes note. says lets move on to case discussion. now there will be two grps who will present the case from their perspectives..

finally abt 10 mins for discussion of class. when the time is over at 8 pm, the prof decided to intervene and present his analysis till8.15, as every one restlessly keeps looking at the lone clock..

now the idea is clear. no one gets to speak more than once in class. sometimes two times. that is all.

its not rocket science to figure out that u don need to do all the readinsg for the sake of talking for 3 mins. read anyONE properly..make notes on it. be the first to raise hands and utter whatever comes to ur mind. be sure to add words like strategy, perspective, add value., re engineering, grwth rates, profitability and the like ( just like "nadula, kanmani..ponmani.. ellam potukko") to make sure that u r not talking of heaven and hell.

no need to study ANYTHING ELSE. thats all. we know how to take care of ourselves i thot.

i m not selfish. i shared the strategy with my frnds. reducing tehir burden too. the best results happen when we all read different readings. coz, few ppl will raise hands for a particular reading discussion, and all of them can speak and get those marks. and so on.

it worked. yes it did. last three classes i confidently went for class without doing much for teh class. everything was moving on fine.

take teh cue. raise the hand. the moment u get ur mike, say ur NAME LOUDLY. look at her if she takes note. but make sure u turn back to the prof, or it will send the wrong signals;)

u din study @ all? try this instead..take the mike.." Sir, I m Aravindan Krishnan.." now look at the scoring lady to chk if she has taken note of u ..without a second thought, immediately pass the mike to teh next person.. :)) ....ppl actually do this too....

so all was well for some time. and then.

last class, i was too tired to study ANYTHING. the class was all abt vision, mission etc. so usual crap i thot. two chap reading were there, which i din read , then in half sleep enough to manage a sentence or two on the additional reading . a case study that i gave up on..and off to class. first 30 mins was good. though i din speak. i hv enough time i thot.

then the prof said , its time for a surprise quiz. topic? that bloody additinal reading i read in half sleep and the case study i totally gave up on..

now what can u do abt this....i m not worried abt the obscene marks i will get in that quiz..

i m searching for the next strategy already..

Full Circle

2006-07-31T06:08:00.000-07:00

Atlast!!!!

It happened!!!! i am a relieved person.

I was a disillusioned lot for quite some days..the events which used to happen a year back were not happening and certainly i felt something amiss in life.

No longer. i m back..yes i m truly back!!

Well aravindan, without his string of lafdas would be reduced to a mere mortal. and that was my only worry all these days. and today i feel a sense of achievement ( or non achievement to be precise)

After two years of waiting, i had made up- my mind to file my tax returns. atlast. i was feeling proud within me as if i was doing a grt favour to the govt. well i was. but not as much. i had my stake in it. the givt owed me a refund on the extra TDS that the company had deducted in my monthly pay cheque. and today was believed to be the last day for filing or sth!

Before we bite the meat of the story, a short intro to the strange relationship ( oh..once more) with my company. while i had a grt time when i was in job, the company had a terrific time with me the moment i had resigned. To give a little idea, i put in my papers 7 days prior to completion of the appraisal period for the year. and that was the last straw. my performance bonus for the year was scrapped. and my appraisal form not even handed a cursory look..i had put my case for escalation which bore no fruit..then they din send the F16 ( not the fighters, i mean Form 16 for IT returns). Finally my provident fund cheque is yet to reach me after a year..hopefully it will be done by the weekend..wats more, for the forms to reach me, i had to bombard the presidents and sr, exec vice presidents for the way in which the company handled ( or mishandled me)..and in 2 days the forms reached me..

So it is quite apparent that there was not love lost between me and the company..and i can tell u we have not seen the end still..

So here i am. waiting to file my returns.

so after a rather insipid lunch, i headed for teh bus stop..my mobile was down on charge..
i realised that i din know my bank account number ( it had changed recently) . called karthik and before i cud get it, my mobile got discharged..waited at the bus stop for almost an hr! form not yet filled..no account number..mobile discharged..super jaathakam..

finally landed up at the IT office..india at its best! loooooooooong Qs....i filled the forms..wrongly..then again..i din have the account number as yet..

i tried my discharged mobile..it was on..for 5 secs..just saw a message from karthik..just as i read the a/c no in 3 secs, the mobile went down..THANK GOD..i din want to hunt for phone booths there..so finally i was shown a long Q..and i stoof there dazed..

we (all ppl in the Q) slowly moved up in life..i mean the stairs and all..

then came the next bombshell!!!! the form needed the bank micr code which i din know..i din have the bank number..and my mobile was discharged! no phones out there in the sec floor..iff left the Q for phone booth again i had to start all over!!! luckily a guy nearby helped me with his mobile....and i had the number of person who dealt with my educational loan..so fortunately got the micr code!!

finally!! after 4 hrs....of wastage ( non utilisation of time for productive activities like blogging, orkutting and chatting)

i was now ready to submit the form..and the lady in charge went thro the form 16 for entering in the system..she gave me a hard look and said..

" ur tax cell guy has not even signed on this form16 for authentication" !!!!

THE END
x---------x

Not so random..

2006-07-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

Perfection in imperfection.

Most of the events are so called random events. i mean there r equal probabilities of occurence. and they certainly dont happen that way. but then thats how the the forbidden energy gap between theory and practice happens. Certainly i m not the one to talk abt it for the first time. What i m saying is just the extension of Mr. Murphy.

For a person who is constantly dealing with probailities and games of chance, noticing this fact is not much of a discovery.

To provide perspicacity to the puzzle, let me try and tie the loose ends.

When it comes to indoor games, nothing beats daayakattai and trade, for me. brain stimulating games dont stimulate me. reason is that brain and me r not so closely related and i m a resigned fatalist. so i believe in the concept of " this too shall pass, everything happens by design, types. so a chance happening interests me more than a clearly enunciated logical sequence, which is actually fallacious considering that an engineering degree was supposed to engrain in me , a logical mind or some such funda.

Coming to daayakattai, for all those like minded ppl who indulgence in this extravagant exercise ( exaggeration??), tell me something..u get a zillion daayams in between the game when all ur checkers are out of the jail and u r trying to catch every possible malai. when u come to the dokku, u don get a daayam for life and stay stuck there. also if getting daayam has as much probability as has five or six, then why is it that one gets more fives than daayam? and why does one gets more pandayam when u r inside pazham? when u need a two wwhich is one of the most easily arrivable score, u get 12s, 6s,5s and the 3s and 4s and what not. clearly probaility is not king.

Talk abt the trade game ( or business as some ppl might call), we have this practice of making our own trade game. means we design our own rules, countries, board, colour and the like. while designing the game, sometimes we kind of create power centres by making some countries macho specimens. assume there are 26 countries, u will find that there are certain countries which will ALWAYS rake in more money. does not mean that these are big countries, i m talking abt he frequency of arriving at these places and consequently doling out rents. in our case, i can list 8 places which had garnered max revenue every time we play. so the probability that u arrive at a particular country is not exactly 1/26.

So what are the implications? what does all this mean?

The events point out to a deeper concept. the presence of a superior power which conducts events not necessarily elucidated by man made mathematics. man designed mathematics for conducting his quotidian affairs. the more man tries to do things on the basis of probability, something else tells that there are hidden patterns in everything not readily understood by the intelligent yet ignorant homosapien. he is not meant to be discerning as to understand all the motives of the ALL POWERFUL. so thats where we arrive. life is full of patterns and cycles..

Strangely, i have been caught for a while in a debate with myself, whether all happens for a reason. and every other time, i keep cross validating the statement. and i clearly do not know whether i am for it or against it.

nevertheless, as long as it provides some food for thought..err..food for blog, i m not too worried..nwo its time for another quick game..

Mirage..

2006-07-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Listen to the music
Beating within you..
And you have the tonic
For miseries that leave you blue..

Do you grasp the meaning
of the world it implies..
Memories can be healing
to cool off that extra spice..

For not everytime in life
Do events happen..
Events that cut like a knife
And are more difficult to pen..

The human mind
Is a bundle of contradictions..
Neither does it unwind
Nor does it favour predictions..

Time to stop connecting the dots
Or straining your imaginations..
Random dots dont convey inner thoughts
but only engender hallucinations..

Try not to understand
Strive hard to accept..
Build that power to withstand
The forces that make one erupt..

For, somewhere, searching for your reflections,
You chose the wrong mirror..
A mirror that mirrored your error
Forever..the play is over....

VIT - Visitor In Transit

2006-07-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

This morning i was reclining into my sofa watching the evergreen melodies of MS Viswanathan in Jaya TV's - Then Kinnam.

Daddy suggested that I should go back to my Alma Mater and catch up with my profs. I swore that nobody was going to remember me there as i was a total recluse at college. But Daddy insisted that there was going to be that one prof who was never going to forget me....yeah..he was quite right when he said that..i slumped back in to nostalgia..

Mostly everybody enjoys their college life. even more their hostel life. first time out of home, discovering their liberty, having fun with new friends..the list is endless..and I was an abnormal child..to me exception has always been the rule..if my engg life seemed like a theoretical joke..this MBA life so far has been a practical joke.......

I have very vague memories of my engg life. Infact, only two pictures flash thro when i try and think of those days..one is the train journeys between Katpadi and chennai. The other is the subject of this post.

It was the year of the freshman. The first year sure had so many subjects . worst of them in my opinion being basic civil engg. the best of them was easily engineering drawing. well to provide a caveat right here, I din exactly understand let alone master ED, but it gave me the lone memory of my college days.

The memory of Prof. Singaravelu, the Asst. HOD, Mech Dept.

We did not meet in the classroom for the first time. He was my hostel warden. The first weekend, I had argued enough that I have to go home every weekend and staying out in the hostel on saturdays and sundays was just impossible. He let me go. There were other cranky wardens who swore that nobody was to leave the hostel premisses. Thus begain my first journey which would go on for another four years..

So there he was in our first ED class. he had a hard look at me, the guy who was the most craziest guy about spending time at home. I was wary of him. He looked like a villain smiling at me as though he wqs ready to seek revenge..I was a child in my first year. (trust me, many ppl in my class now, still tell me i am a child at heart :-)..so i was reasonably unsure about his intentions

I was a kind of a split personality.coward and couurageous at the same time. While I wanted to be in the safe custody of my parents during weekends, I was willing to take on my prof even if i was warned of my absence from classes.

The positioning of the ED class was one of strategy. There were two classes in a week. One on friday afti and other on mon afti. Now I learnt very soon that I was never going to improve at ED and decide to do away wth ED classes where we had to sit and practise the drawings. I decided to attend the first two classses of every new chap when the prof will teach us teh basics on how to get the concept onto the drawing. I could then cut that friday off midway, midday and catch the afti express to madras. and if i was going to be bored to get up on monday ( kovai starts at 6.15 AM, which meant i had to leave home by 5AM), I was again ditching monday's class as well.

The strategy for the ED had been promptly worked out. and put into prqctice as well. All was fine until one day, the prof came to my drawing table. He was a bit serious and sternly asked me why i was not attending his classes. He said i needed min attendance to even give the exam. He told me that if i continued my tactics, he was going to talk to daddy. I was not amused one bit and just smiled away. and cut the next two classes as well.

The next class we had a face off {:))}!!!! He was furious but still controlled himself. He told me that he was going to talk to daddy for sure. I was a bit over confident..and gave him my home no without even him asking for it..He said he will call up for sure..Yet another gimmick i thought..

I was wrong..

That week's saturday..i was watching songs in sun tv and the like. a phone call came. i lifted. and a voice thundered.."Prof Singaravelu here..give the fone to ur daddy"! excuse me..i was not expecting this..blame my over confidence..

I meekly surrendered the fone to daddy. They talked for 10 mins. Daddy told me that the prof was not apparently worried abt my ED skills as much he worried abt my damn poor atendance. I decided to accept daddy's advice to attend the rest of the classes. all for attendance sake. ED was a forgone conclusion for me.

I attended all the classes for the next one month. some even on saturdays. I was not spending enough time at home. Finally daddy told me that he missed me, and asked me to bunk the monday's class coz i had attended saturdays class. So i again bunked the following class.

Now the prof really went crazy. he called me aside and asked me whether i was bunking on my own or my father was abetting my actions..i could only smile..i dare not tell him. I managed to scrape thro the univ exam . the next 3 years did not see much of interaction between us.

Finally it was my convocation. I saw the prof standing beside his students - shd be atleast 15 of them in front of the main building. As I wished him..He placed his arms around my shoulder and introduced me to his students " You must have known only abt visiting profs, but i introduce to you, the visiting student of VIT - GOD only knows how he cleared the ED paper after barely attending my classes. All the best Aravindan" He wore a big smile on his face. Basically he had damaged my reputation in front of my juniors - but i liked the term he coined for me - visiting student of VIT.

A compliment to cherish for the rest of my life....anybody disagrees??

Population is handy..

2006-07-09T03:27:00.000-07:00

What is the height of blogging?

when u step in to the cyber cafe and write a post..

right..anyway

i was thinking abt this population "thingy" for quite some time since i started touring a month back..go to the airports see long queues..as middle class travels more n more by air, we hv a serious problem...leave that ..see the rly stns, they need a serious remodelling..delhi metro system was mindblowing..sth to be done in those lines..whats more, we need systems which makes supervision easier and lessens waiting time..huge capacities..

but that is not the subject of my post..

i m in delhi and hv been trying to spend 12hrs to catch tamilnadu exp, its a tough time..but population comes very handy..

for example, to walk from ajmeri gate side of teh stn to the paharganj, it took 30 mins..good crowd. ( bbay ofcourse is the star performer)..

then for teh cloak room, again a long Q. takes a min of 1 hr irrespective of teh time u enter the Q. infact i started remembering a bit of OR abt thoise queing theories with all those random numbers on waiting and servicer times.

go to a hotel, u will be served after 40-45 mins. if u ever wanted to waste time while in transit, India offers u the best solution. population explosion has never been guiven the credit that was due sadly..

think abt it, u need not try shopping, no need tp spend money, just do all the essential stuff ( i mean drudgeries) for ur journey and ur time whizzes by.

one more addon, i got this browsing centre after searching all over connaught place for 2 hours ( i mean 2 hrs seriosly). whats more, i had successfully circled the LIC building and palika bazaar 8 times. everytime i went searching i landed at the same place in different fashions. look at the marvel of indian architectuire ( or marvel at my extraordinary brain)

another 4 hrs to waste away. i m confident of handling it..time to leave for yet another engrossing searching session. soul searching session.haha

tata

The Bigamist..

2006-06-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

The summers is over(yeah rains r lashing bbay) .

Some experiences can be funny but frustrating..some so frustrating that u r finally forced to view it funnily. I get glimpses of Bigamy in my summer project!

Bigamy and summer project?

Yes..if anybody is already into thinking in any wrong directions, pls get back..i m not at all talking abt people per se, working in a company. its about a concept ( i hv been inventing too many concepts these days, makkal odha kudukka wait panraa:)) )

To say the least, all through this summer project i hv lived the life of a bigamist :-(

If tam ppl could go back to one of those maadhu cheenu dramas, where maadhu marries a second time, and is working his way thro pipelines shuttling between mythili and janaki, as if he is at both places same time, my situation wd not be entirely different!

The biggest problem with summer projects is living a dual life..u hv to work in the office and if u dont do it the proper way like me, hv to work at home as well..

Alas, I dont hv the luxury of online data updation ( like the ones i studied in MIT, that if i make a word / xl doc at office, hv to mail it to my account to retrieve at home. and vice versa. and i m an aam aadmi, so dont possess those costly pen drives, and i hate using the floppies....

so mail , it has to be..

now whenever i hv serious reviews, the mail fails to deliver or delivers zero k..and i look like a loose bolt of a fused lantern....

the worst part is, at 4 in the morning, when u want to drop down dead, u have to again mail the stuff back to u..and in iit gpo, the thing gets stuck time n again ( one of the most shady mail programmes i hv ever used)..

at times, i fall asleep with comp on, while doing the report, then get up after an hr to shut down the system..and remember that i hv to do trhe drudgery of mailing on to me....

if i take a serious count, i hv never sent so many mails even to my beloved ones, as much as i hv sent to myself....go to office..bus abt to leave at half past five, u start to mail ur work....gpo goes insane, go hare in the brain, run in the rain, take all the strain....and finally left to drain....

now yeah, i hv perfected the art of managing two homes....keep both of them satisfied....work from both places..become less forgetfull....think of both....appreciate, negotiate, satiate....oh this is getting too much....

anyway in a roll, this is all i wanted to say, the life of a project trainee ( minus a pen drive) is much like a bigamist.

btw, why look askance at bigamists? with their management and negotiation skills, there are the true management thinkers....

PS:

I don ofcourse intend to become a management thinker :) and hope that clears the bottomline

Strange Relationship

2006-06-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

I have made it a habit of writing a post when i am about to fall down dead tired....this is what is called mapping of thoughts under sapping of energy.

i hv been thinking lately abt this very simple and difficult to understand thing called friendship. there are many levels to friendship. one frnd had mentioned something on it in a blog earlier, so i don want to arachify the same maavu. instead i would want to describe a different type of friendship. the friendship of mutual opportunism.

the concept is dead simple.

it was sth i had to experience in the 130 km travel stretch between katpadi and chennai central during engg days. perhaps i was taught many things abt life in this 2 hr journey sitting on the doorsteps. in a very cramped fashion. and train journeys have their own way of educating you.

so we (both) used to travel together from college to home. everytime. we shared the same passion. if we r going get even half a day, we shall make it to home. what ever happens. we had different reasons altogether. he had parties and frnds and masti. i had my mega serials to catch up with. and discuss them with paati and amma. one wd ask how come mega serials on weekends? well we usually dont stay in college that longer! we leave by wed evening. and return the next monday. we had practised it religiously. pratice makes man perfect. we were near perfect.

so it was to be.

we were in the same discipline. we also shared the same frustration. flunked jee a second time while in first year of college. so it was sth to relate to each other.

we sat in the last benches. he was nicknamed the son of chemical engg. the HOD's pet. yes he was quite fundu. i was just another guy in the chemm engg classroom. we enjoyed making fun of profs. i was too tired to listen to all the jokes these profs make and yet call it as teaching. he had much less regard for them. sure we did have some axe to grind.

how different can a friendship be?

we had to walk around 1.5 km to 2 km along the track to make it to the railway station. and then a 2 hr travel to madras. we just walked along. we dont talk much. walking side by side for 20 mins. each engrossed in his own thoughts.

we sat next to each other in that little space on the doorstep. faces headed out of the door as if to search for peace outside. the next two hours would be as silent as death. ofcourse except for the random dadang sounds of changing of tracks and the odd whistle.

is it possible for two ppl to carry on a journey as this without a word literally.

and then another time, we do travel. this time we wd be discussing abt life and the unified theory of relativity. how if good and bad were unfied, ppl see it in the same way, there could be peace in this world. and so many other difficult to ponder topics.

we get caught together by TTEs for not getting the super fast tickets. bargain for fine.

we study alone. we rarely discuss even during exams. we only had those bread rolls during those breaks in fortran labs. we devoured sambar and appalaam big time in hostel mess.

during exams, the exam ends by 1pm. which is exactly the same time, we have our west coast exp for chennai. so we keep seeing each other as to when the other is going to give the paper. and when one gives, the other gives it immediately. partners in crime.

ofcourse finally we did our B.Tech project together. i was denies entry in the chemical plant. he slogged big time. then finally i went to his place and finished all those calculation stuff in 2 hrs. the only contribution i made to a month long project. 2 hrs if u call it. we had fun doing them. both of us were interested in chemical process calculations.

there was never a moment, when i thought here is a guy i want to go and hang out with. same with him.

we had a unsaid contract. of giving company to each other and when either of us dint have any!
that was during these train journeys, projects and last bench gossips.

no friendship. no formalities.

the last time i heard from him was 2 years back when he mailed from alabama that he wanted an idea of how we did the project calculations. that was all.

its funny how i thought of him so suddenly.

the contract law says " There must be an intention to proceed into a contract"

there was neither intention in our friendship. and consequently no extension either.

somehow i actually liked this all.

because i believe not all happens for a reason!

Rewind..

2006-06-10T23:57:00.000-07:00

Time for rewind..so much has happened in the last one year..so much more in store by the end of next year.

if i had really enjoyed living outside home it had to be IIT and nothing less. din enjoy it in VIT. enjoyed a bit in RIL for 5 months when i was in nagothane.

but the last one year has been good and different. to start with, with my interview handling capabilities, cud never hope to get an admit. PERUMAL got it done.

but after coming here, there remains the fact that i have become only more confused than ever.
lost interest in studies a bit too quickly. and i hv no idea what kind of job wd interest me at all. did nothing in acads as such. nothing much in extra curriculars as well. stopped reading daily newspapers. spent more time in yahoo and internet. only if my father wd hv watched what i was doing here..i wd be asked to head for home if i was not going to get any better.

i am confused. not my problem only. everyone is a bit confused. i was told that those guys who get into these instis were supposed to have some kind of clarity in thoughts. one more myth.

after a bad year at acads it has been a tiresome summers. travelling more and utilising 100% of the scorching sun. am actually learning life the hard way. i usually do this way.

learning how difficult it is to handle ppl who are so indifferent. how u realise if u have some degree of self dignity, sorry , marketing is not the place for u. many a times, if i had been my normal self, i wd have gone ahead and blasted all those who did not know the meaning of courtesy. but then i had to bear all crap just for this summer project!

a 10 day stint in delhi only made me sure that bbay was a better place any day to live in. and looking at how my cousins have been spread out now all over the country, i stand very less chance of getting a job in chennai. and if the opportunity is worthwhile, it will be a while before i get back to my aam in madras. time enough for that.

the best thing to have happened over the last year has been friends. i never made a lot of friends. i usually stick to the closer ones. but for a change, it as been so different here. the count i made here was adding one equal half to the count i had managed in 25 years of existence. not just the ones who study with me, did manage to make altogether new friends beyond my locus of imagination and get some really good old ones too..

am really waiting for the summers to get over to get the experience of my life. i m very excited abt it. hopefully i shd make it there.

a bit of dabbling with music at times has also been very enriching. my first try at creating some music however bad it might have been. i guess i did learn a thing or two on handling the keys.
thanks to kiran for company.

although i havent learnt much academically, i guess i learnt more from life. there is so much to learn.

my only take from life as i always imagine....the things worthy of learning are those which u learn without even realising that u learn them and in then in one more sober moment of life, u recall and reminisce and relish those memories.

but i am pestered with a question.

should thing happen in life just to be a memory?

Dilemmas..

2006-06-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Can dilemmas be sweet?

yes. noticed that when i used to handle yahoo chats and fone talks. the dilemma of who will end conversations first?

it happened when i was in surat. din have a mobile fone. so talking to akka was a shy difficult. so we planned weekend yahoo voice chats. every time for atleast 3 hours.

as we neared the end, i will say bye. and will type bye. she will too. and then i will not sign out immediately. 5 mins will pass. then she will say bye againn . and i will say bye. yet again after 5 mins she will again say bye. this will continue..and then we will finally settle for a fresh round of chatting.

again here comes fone convos. we used to talk real lot before her marriage. like everybody sleeps at ten. we will try to sleep but will end up talking till 12. so scenario changed after her marriage.

and i also got posted out of city. so times changed.

and then when i visit madras, we keep talking and updating 7 times a day and everytime for 30 mins. when we r done with teh convo, we decide to hang up..again bye as usual. i wil say bye and wait for her to cut. and she , the same.. its difficult really deciding who will cut the fone.

finally we do. who does, i m not still sure

now things have changed a bit. does not happen that much. cut fones pretty soon without game theory....but 7 times a day and 30 mins is still there....

i miss the dilemma..however..

dilemmas are interesting after all. its time i had some dilemma in life....

Experience..

2006-06-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

One thing I had been wanting to write was some of my experiences. not they r so unusual. everyone has some kind of experience. but there are patterns.

I had mentioned a long time back that there are always certain constants in life even as times are changing..

Something that i had understand out of ( not 'outta') experience. If i were to track my life since class 10, this truth is sth that has stood the test of time.

i mean the kind of decisions i had taken in life.

To crack open in a nutshell, i had taken stands and decisions which were too much for me. Always tried to bite more than i could chew.

Results - Frustrations in the short term. damn frustrations i mean. I could nearly break down but but for PERUMAL. I had come out of all those sheerly due to HIM. Then it becomes history. something to look back on. sometimes pretty fond remembrances. in fact, in the long term, they were boons to me.

Right after 10th, I got a free kit to prepare for jee. and everybody had unrealistic hopes on me that i was going to become some kind of an engineer. to me that time engineer meant building houses. nothing more than that. I did not even hear abt IIT till that time. I had been a pampered child who does not know the outside world or ever heard of hard work.

come 11th std, and some stupid peer pressure caused me to prepare for jee. Despite knowing well that i was chasing shadows, i did the obvious. tried to study. to no avail. magesh and balaji wd probably testify the sleepless nights in teh car garage where we unsuccessfully carried out all our preparation.

But even they never knew that all this led me to some kind of depression. ( actually almost nobody knew this). At nights i used to dream of all mathematical formulae hovering over my head. Literally threw away all jee books. cried. yes, i cried out loud. stopped going to school for a week. told amma and daddy that i was not going to stay at my home in T.Nagar. Decided to pack off for adambakkam for my paati's house. They din have an answer. I was off. They were stunned. They knew me more than myself. So they sent me.

Reached paati's place in afternoon. and suddenly everything looked rosy. Adambakkam in those days was still like a village. i liked that serenity. i was running high fever when i reached there. but everything had calmed down by evening. i relished paati's company. she gave a hot cup of filter coffee and we sat down to watch some tamil serials ( not soaps..those days they were short n sweet with some social messages). within a day or two, i was becoming saner than i was. and in quick time, i was there realising that i was missing classses and went home promptly. i was almost a maniac when i left home for adambakkam. but i had recovered well enough. next two years breezed. din get thro jee. screwed the only entrance exam of the state. but at the end of 12th i realised that a jee coaching had probably made me feel that i had decent grounding in science and maths, which helped me thro my engg and then on.

I know there are lot of people who prepare and get thro easily. they were brilliant. i was not. i failed. i did fail. i even failed a second time.

first learning in life :

Learn to accept failure. The only failure in life is to lack the courage to stand failures in life.

{ and i had too many failures to back the statement :))}

More experiences to come..

Return to Innocence

2006-06-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

Thats not the beginning of the end
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
..
Love - devotion..
Feeling - emotion..
..
Dont be afraid to be weak
Dont be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny.

Dont care what people say
Just follow your own way
Dont give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

Thats not the beginning of the end
Thats the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

Dont care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Dont give up, dont give up
To return, to return to innocence.

If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself dont hide
Just believe in destiny.

- Enigma

The Last Mile..Chapter II

2006-05-31T10:26:00.000-07:00

Seasons are changing....life is rearranging. or it seemed so. does the locale have a say on ur emotions?

It certainly looked like that.

A 100 days of togetherness in solitude was a testimony to this. There were ofcourse minor..very minor meetings. like there is actually no meeting. no feeling. just physical stares. many times unawares. nothing more. not even a bit more to be precise. The closest they came to was when they actually accidentally met at common prayers. Prayers have their own wonderful way of bringing together people. usually. but not here. did destiny will? correction. did their destinies will?

They talked for the first time. officially. like making their backgrounds clear. not too many intentions. does every intro need to have a meaning really? a question that has confused many a souls. a question for which answers are hard to find. a search into the infinite space of the mind. oh mind, unwind....

Life is full of introductions. People meet, know, see ppl. knowing does not mean that it shd serve a purpose. knowing means knowing. it can lead to a lot of events. "can" does not mean "should". The problem with mankind is that everytime one knows another there is a tendency to extrapolate events. exaggerate circumstances. aggrevate misconceptions. expedite rejections. wallow in dejections.

Still he was not to fall into the trap. He had been carefull all these years. he had seen ppl fall in. and out. down and out. drought.

But strange are the ways of love. in catching up with someone who never wanted to get into the vague shades of life. and love.

The last mile.... chapter 1

2006-05-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

It seemed like some major celebration. the whole crowd was seated. he was in a world of his own. blissfully ignorant of a larger plan. it was all a part of nature's design. destiny.

The days went by. until the day everyone was to follow different paths. 6 paths to be exact. temporary though. well how temporary is temporary? he left much earlier.he belonged to a different species. she followed much later. it did not matter. they never knew each other. or rather. he did not know her. it was a huge crowd. he easily missed her.

and then nature plays. a small bunch arrives one day. to the same place. and one among them. intuitive glances exchange. he has no idea. yet. the smile passes. so does she.

they never met. never had to. though the group was small. and though she did know him. why should everything happen so fast ?

on the contrary, if things happen too fast..maybe something is not quite right. well..

What next?

2006-05-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

rediff.com can give a zillion reasons for defeat of amma and the returning of dmk to power.

there can be only two truths abt TN elections for eternity. i m dead sure.

1. verdicts r always clear.
2. the principle of - u one time - i one time.

nothing more needs to be said. throw all reasons. into the dustbin.

via my marketing project, i can say that TN people exhibit variety seeking tendency. if anyone wants to check. i am ready to float my marketing survey questionnaire. volunteers please!!

i m not too worried. but curious.

now i m looking forward to see how CTVs r going into enter into BPL families. i guess the brand of TVs ppl will get also be BPL brand only;)

as if BPL ppl needed just this TV for enriching their lives....not education n other useful stuff. TV is all they need. and ppl select such governments. way back in 1971 i guess, anna promised 3 padis of arisi for a rupee. paati told me. n not one padi was also given. pls chk with respective thaathas n paatis for credibility of this info n tell me. pls give me a break now.

well i need a break really. for the next five years!!!!

So Beautiful..

2006-05-09T02:29:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats Darren Hayes Lyrics....and his voice....so beautiful..
_________________________________
So Beautiful..

Whether I'm right or wrong
There's no phrase that hits
Like an ocean needs the sand
Or a dirty old shoe that fits
And if all the world was perfect
I would only ever want to see your scars
You know they can have their universe
We'll be in the dirt designing stars

And darlin' you know
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful

Whether I'm up or down
There's no crowd to please
I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in it
And if all the world was smiling
I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets
We'll be right here stranded on the ground
Just happy to be found

You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the worldI wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful

I have lost my illusions
I have drowned in your words
I have left my confusion to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand

You are..

So Beautiful
________________________________________
A Savage Garden Song

Puguntha veedu ( The In-laws House)

2006-05-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

The inlaws concept has always fascinated me. ofcourse not that i found one lately. but i observed an interesting parallel.

It struck me this morning while in office, trying to work on my summer project( unsuccessfully though). see what summer projects can do to u. u can get all the ideas on thw world except abt what shd be done abt the project!

the situation is woefully similar for the two persons in question. one is the newly wed girl who moves into the puguntha veedu or inlaws house. i make the assumption that the girl is a house wife. the other is the fresh graduate who walks into a company. bit unsure of the company atmosphere.

believe me. this analysis is interesting. both have very much the same road ahead as they walk into the new family (or company) ahead into their careers of married life(or job).

The Maatu Ponnu or Daughter in Law

The daughter in law steps into the house valathu kaal inside first! the guys family members carefully take the bahu inside ( with that kyun ki saas bhi effect)! she is slowly introduced to every member. she has to smile at everyone whether she likes or not. now this is interesting really. in case of a tamil wedding, @ the reception, it happens that u smile at every guy/girl wishing u on the stage for maybe 3 -4 hrs. ur 16 muscles in ur face being constantly overworked. developing sulukku and all. u just cannot get away without any pain in a marriage even if u r the bride or the groom!

then u have to repeat the same puraanam. ur background et al. as u meet new ppl, u r bit unsure. coz some ppl r happy to have u as bahu. some r maybe jealous ( maybe becoz u r either beautfiul than them or perhaps u snatched that guy via love marriage stuff). playing mindgames. and all ppl extoll teh virtues of her hubby. his grt qualities ( even if not any)

now everything has settled. down to a typical day. imagine the plight of this girl. sitting idle can be a nightmare. she either has to make sure that nobody needs anything else. well, i m talking abt traditional girls. intha kaalathu puthumai ponnungalukku apply aagaathu. they r too smart to handle things. and ppl. i wonder they recieve some spl training from college !!!!

so she sits on the sofa. trying to empathise with the zillions of soap characters. glass in hand. ( where else to pour all the tears generated during the course of the soap) . afternoon soaps r too gud. as i happened to read abt it in some other blog. everytime someone walks by the girl, she feels uneasy. her eyes wavers around. hoping that there is not much for her to do. paavam. tough job. if there r any tasks for the day, she has to get them done and probably make sure that the elders ( namely the mother-in-law) get to know that all has been duly completed.

till the moment of arrival of her better half. sudden reassurance now. After a few days she gets used to it all. gains experience to handle everything tactfully. she knows that she can gradually start easing herself, enjoy big time and yet keep ppl happy. diplomacy. suaveness. what not. i guess one of the things that can really bind a motherinlaw and daughterinlaw are those useless discussions on these faltoo episodes. if there is anything in this univere that they can ever concur, it can only be these soaps.

The Freshie

He joins the company. induction time now. he is given a list of ppl who all to meet and get acquainted with. now ready for the grind. to say good morning to everybody. so many times. that he does not realise that even in afternoons he keeps wishing good morning !!

same crap he utters abt himself. to all ppl he meets. and the company manager utters some crap abt the company culture et al. again every manager looks at him with differnt eyes. like our manager for instance, thinking within himself that we r here for some time pass! yet others with some misguided impressions abt mgmt grads. that they r supposed to know a few things. someone pls enlighten these ignorant souls.

then he is shown a small cabin complete with a comp with internet and a phone connection. now comes the tougher part. he keeps constantly looking around. watching out for ppl. while opening one by one. yahoo messenger. then gtalk. then blog. then orkut. and finally one window on the project doc. simply becoz that alt+tab should get this lone window whenever anybody passes by. and ya one more word doc file too. some cut copy paste on it to give an impression that some fruitful googling has been carried out. the life of the freshie is further complicated by the work culture.. for example the company ceo says we have a very open work culture. what this poor freshie fails to realise is that the cabins have as a portion of the wall a glass portion. and ppl can see right thro it. 'open' work culture that is !!!! and teh comp placed tight in front so that one with a small peep can have a clean look at his comp. so this guy has some ready explanation for his boss any time he might ask him the progress.

finally when the moment of leaving from office comes, the elation in his face is conspicuous.
again just like our new house wife, the guy gradually picks up 'work ethics'. the art of managing ppl more than managing his own work. all the guy needs to do is to get a hang of what keeps the boss going. thats it. just like these tv serials, he can do wonders at the help of his boss with the right dose of flattery.

once the initials moments r handled tactfully @ both home and @ work for these two ppl, then life gets cooler.

politics and skillful diplomacy is a necessary recipe for success for both the daughterinlaw and for this freshie.

how do girls by and large handle things @ office pretty coolly? after all if the bahu does not know the secret of success who else does????

Proud to be a.........

2006-05-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

Take a quick quiz.

How long does one take to recover from an accident? an accident that can change one's life!

it changed mine. and am yet to recover.

well....

june 1998. the accident happened.

place of accident: counselling hall in anna university

accident: admission to chemical engg

hospital admitted : Vellore institute of technology

i had no idea what chemical engg was all abt. it really happened by chance. one last seaat in a decent college. and i took it.......rest is history.

but i realised how chemical engg has saved me all thro. inspite of the fact that i had paid scant regard for it during engg

except for chemical engg thermodynamics n chemical process calculations, i never bothered abt chemical engg. nevertheless, chemical engg has always been generous to me.

for example reliance happened. had some happy days. yeah i had my share of faliures too. but after tat , here during summer interviews, i wsa getting rejected in every gd. wat cud i do? my communicative abilities had hit all time low.

finally this xyz company had a direct interview in store. for a marketing project....i was asked why i wanted to do marketing project. despite being a chemical engineer. they wanted me to work in the operations side being a chemical engineer. sure i din hav an answer. so replied that i have no idea abt marketing. and maybe thast why i shd consider doing it. still they selected me. chemical engg did the trick. PERUMAL designed it.

so i was in. today as i was briefed abt my project, i was sinking into a feeling that i was slowly getting into rotary vane compressors, surfactants, lubricants and more of chem engg stuff.

my engg knowledge however poor it may be will be in use. that too for an mba project.

but what really opened my eyes today was the agrochemical market.

how agrochemicals can unlock agricultural productivity in india. how much grains r wasted due to pests and all every year. how decreasing land holdings will have to support bigger population in future. how chemical engineering is going to help in this process. how innovations in chemical field can do wonders. so many things.

how many kinds of foodgrains r produceed? how much role this chemical engg plays in all these things? though i din play a role myself, i m a part of such a community. and ofcourse i have diff roles to play. in other realms of chemm engg. worked for a while in polymers. things like that.

one can live without surfing but can one live without saapaadu?

chemical engg is one field that touches every walk of life. it really is.

today i have a reason to feel proud. i am a chemical engineer. amn't I ?

Peters ( and Marys)

2006-04-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all peters and marys ( which i guess will include almost all ppl xcept me;)

Its hard to understand, sometimes, how two extreme cults coexist in the same time frame and space frame in this universe. not just that . there r split personalities within the same kind of ppl. for further damnation of voluntary split personalities pls refer keshav's blog http://avuthu-pottu.blogspot.com/2006/04/online-hunk-offline-junk.html. thats a totally different track though.

so what r the two extreme cults?

ppl who belong to local kannama pettai and talk like cool dudes. they use words like kinda, thingi, anyways and and more junk.
then there r those same set of ppl who use " scene, sirupillaithanam, daaragiduva, bulb, dabba and GOD save, more of such lingos.

first let us consider the first point. what is thingi? why add i to thing to make it thingi? anyway is a simple word. why add s to it? athu enna dude? do i head from australia? whats kinda? does it mean u r kind?

oh man!!!! pls give me a brk. please man.

next comes our local shtyle - madras baashai and all.

i bet there r more brahmin female fans for the kind of gaana songs which vijay plays in every film of his. ( my own cousin sisters r a testimony to this). i cannot stand this daaanguthu songs anytime in my life.

i hv to almost plead with my sisters to talk in normal language.

the funny thing is both these cults r so different and yet attract the same masses.

we all have an identity of our own. and most of us forget it. we painstakingly adapt and assimilate such stuff. and r also proud of being a part of such communities.

well well well. this is a difficult issue. no point raising. nobody is going to listen.

who cares? I do!!!!

Anyways this peter kinda thingi's gonna rock!!!!

Its all over

2006-04-21T06:40:00.000-07:00

Ended the first year with yet another despicable performance. next three months i hope to do better things.

and yeah the joy of going home is the only thing that keeps me in spirits.

Busy but Vetti

2006-04-16T04:42:00.000-07:00

" What u love to do, u always find time to do"

A lil bit of digression now.

exam time now. its difficult understanding things. i have a 'corporate finance' paper tomm. well we call it coffin for short. yeah one of the tougher courses for me. din do too well in the quizzes. and i need to pass the exam somehow tomm.

coming back to the starting point.

i like exams a lot. during exams u have very less time to do things other than exams related stuff. and i end up doing other things instead!!!!

u cant hide ur true love in any kind of situation. it just shows up. take the opening sentence of this post. that is what it says. so what is my true love? read below....

for example, i swore that i will not waste time on Y!. i usually chatted very rarely with athai and arun. but then we have a tough exam tomm. so decided to do some unabated chatting with them. interestingly, during exam times, i feel like taking a 20 min break for every 15 mins i study!!

i had waited all along to get my haircut today. when i have enough to study already. and getting a haircut here means travelling up and down wasting precious time. what was i doing a week back???? cud have done yesterday or day before, but i am very superstitious. hair cuts on friday and saturday is strictly not acceptable to me. so it was to be done today.

had to get a medical certi from a doc to apply for the mountaineering camp. as luck wd have it, IIT hospi ditched us. we went searching for clinics in powaii. thats more time wasted. and we have not been done with it. in an hr's time, we will start all over an try to put things in place. meet the doc and set things right.

finally i cud never think of anything worthwhile to write abt last two three days when i had a lot of time. and today , this moment, with all the pending portions, decided to write abt this particular feeling.

sure, the affinity to do things dramatically increases when u know u dont have enough time for it.

why did GOD create murphy????

Wait please

2006-04-11T01:22:00.000-07:00

Yet another hot day in mumbai. the bus is crowded. yeah u have enough place to stand and hold a bar close to u. the situation gets interesting now.

u try different strategies.

strategy 1

u scan around continuously to see who is going to get down and get ready to grab his seat. u r in a state of tension. one guy gets up. and before u can move, another guy closer to that seat jumps in. u again wait for ur turn. same thing ensues. during the process, u keep moving around and everytime u move closer to another seat, u lose the present place of standing to another guy. 1 hr passes. u get down without getting a seat. all exasperated. maybe at times u get a seat. going by my history of bus travel, it never happens. thanks to murphy. and u have added frustration having shifted all over the bus with no success. ofcourse u might still get a seat.that chance is there.

strategy 2

this time u stick to ur place come what may. u patiently wait and pray for the person sitting close to ur position to get down. u r not fickle minded this time. 1 hr passes. still u dont get a seat as usual. too bad. but u r not too frustrated. u were not exactly desperate for a seat. if u got it , u had it. but wait sometimes luck is in ur favour. u do get a seat. and i tell u sweet r the fruits of patience. the remaining part of ur journey will be more sweeter than if u had gotten a seat right at the start. again there is tendency to think that we shd have tried strategy 1 had strategy 2 failed.

Is it all really worth the wait....?

{ on a technical note, for mba grads, this illustration is a classic case of dilemma between spot buys vs forward contracts for ,say, crude oil purchase negotiations}

Sometimes....Stop thinking

2006-04-07T00:14:00.000-07:00

Everybody does analysis. Everybody likes analysis. Analysis is gud. Analysis is important.

There are major decisions to take in life. we do in depth analysis sometimes. sometimes it pays off. sometimes it does not.

There are times in life where analysis can get too far. really too far. it prevents spontaneity in life. We all live the life we have peacefully because of this spontaniety. The human mind is not a monte carlo program. it cannot generate all possible scenarios and generate payoffs for all such possibilities. end of day nobody knows what was right and what was wrong. who is right and who is wrong. whether to take the left turn or the right. to take the straight road or just divert. again we win some. we lose some. all in the game. nobody can expect clear payoffs from life. and disappointments stem only from such expectations.

Life is not all too colourful. there is a patch of grey in the background. always. there are no clear pictures. no clear answers. u never know when it starts. never know where it will stop.

There is a problem to game theory. we anticipate. we adjust. thats all right. but not everytime when ur actions keep depending on the other person. then u lose ur originality. u lose what u r. u r non existent. philosophically there is no "u". but still, i am talking abt physical realities.

we can achieve happiness by being what we are. and accepting ppl as they are. by getting on with life. GOD gives everybody a fair deal.

there is no need to understand always. just love. it does not require understanding. and it is a powerful medicine.

Quoting Mother Teresa,

" The more time u have for analysis, the lesser the time u have for love"

that was a profound statement. draw the line. when to analyse and when not to.

stop analysing.

break the bars
free ur thoughts
draw the line
and all will be fine

My Tryst with Computers

2006-04-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Its a puzzle.

I get easy with ppl who are gud at sth which i am terrible at ! More specifically I rarely match frequency with ppl from a similar academic interest ( which might partly be due to my own absymal acadmic abilities :-( . i got more computer science friends in my batch here and else where. and then i know for a fact of life i cannot discuss one comp funda with them. why shd i expose my foolishness and ignorance.

It happens with language. It happens with computers. Though i want to talk abt computers, i am doing it against a backdrop of language as well. just to show forcefully that sth is not alright in a usual sense.

I have literally been a west indian last three years ( yeah.... i still retain my hair and am not that black either and never tried a kingfisher till date....) and yet my hindi is hardly digestible. the beauty is still i manage to mix with northies without too many inhibitions. and atleast at my engg college and at my workplace, i have really strong friends with whom i still keep in touch. opposite poles attract. they say. i am not sure. nor can i claim that it applies to me. and finally i dont care what makes me tick with northies....probably that wd make a separate post by itself, that is if at all i manage to figure out!

well this is for the start. now for the main-course. my bete-noire. computers.

I cant find words to express my feelings for this humble machine. its pretty mixed. at the same time i love to write abt sth which i am sure i will fail miserably . and hence this attempt.

First a basic dose of psychology. we avoid sth mostly becoz we r afraid of it. and we are afraid of sth becoz we dont understand it. this is the case for most things in life.

and so it happened. the first computer of my life came in class VI. that is way back in 1992. a single machine in our school lab. that too i used for playing prince. under the able guidance of my computer teacher. i knew i cud not handle it. i can handle these video game joy sticks much better than these arrow+shift+ctrl+tab+ num lock keys.

then on i have miserably failed attempting fifa, road rash, nfs2, dave and so on.....dont even dare to think abt AoE or Counter strike....on the contrary i guess i completed mario atleast once. BLC was okay. but with these cheat codes i never stood a chance. mine sweeper ws my only accomplishment. beginner level completed in 5 sec. that too purely by chance.

I cant recount the number of times i was left languishing in these languages like fortran, c, c++. the closest i came to understandin a computer language was BASIC. too sidey a language though. i mugged this oops concept just for the sake of placements in engg. and i din have a job even when i passed out from college. actually i just din attend CTS interveiw at college just becoz i was happily enjoying at home and never knew abt it. wat a correlation with computers to start a career....

i dont understand these computer networks, proxies, gateways etc although i have breathing internet and Y!M through these very things. It took a long time to figure out what configuration and pricing wd suit my requirements for a pc. but i guess so far if i had done anything remotely successful, that was getting a decent deal for a pc with a comparable configuration. i still have not attempted all the tools and functions in a MS office package. hope to learn sth before the course finishes. becoz as an MBA, all i am supposed to be is a master of these packages. when ppl talk abt comp stuff, i silently slip away. i cant handle this for sure!

in the first term, we had to learn SAS which is a statistical analysis package. till date, i cannot understand it one bit. watever lil i used of sas was by searching for codes in the internet using google. and that is not the tharikhaa for learning. with the imminent possibility of using SPSS for mktg project, i am completely bowled. the last lecture on spss left me baffling for words. i have decided to ditch tomm's spss class without much fuss.

i have encountered strange problems with blogger.com and orkut. the exp with these codes in blogger for adding features to my page has been a disaster. i am not able to put a hit counter again. and i dont understand these template codes. i wd rather do without these extra features.

learning MIS was a catastrophe in the first term. excessive mugging did not yield dividends ( nor the capital appreciation). i still cant understand the seven layers of communication or diff configs of networks. MIT was better. without any idea of IT, AA in MIT was my lone achievement here as far as acads are concerned. that too GOD'S GRACE.

Having said all that, a life without computers is unimaginable. this morning we din have power. even s i woke up, i tried to start the comp unmindful of all the sweat due to heat in a power cut room. only while putting all the cash flow spreadsheets did i understand the beauty of microsoft excel. mail, yahoo messenger and blogging ( okay orkut also to some extent) has become my staple food. nowadays i get bored at home when i visit madras with no comp to give company ( but anyday i wd prefer curd rice for comp;)

the computing ability of this microprocessor and connecting ability of this internet have been the most impacting phenomenons in the last 100 years. forget thinking abt doing a project without google! not possible. i dont use calculators for calculations, only excel. and winamp? when my comp is on......music is on indefinitely. without computers such seamless connectivity to music wd have been impossible or tedious.

although i amk not tech savvy, the benefits i have reaped from them is beyond debate. I hate computer subjects. I hate IT ( yeah even IT for Income Tax)

so my exp with computers has been mixed. but i guess i have to get even with my cousins. atleast try to become a stud in one computer game. thts a far fetched dream. but that is definitely the project for this summer shd i be in madras for my summers.

Keep it simple

2006-03-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

Keeping things simple is the most powerful way of communication.

There is a lot of talk about leadership. and i have had the opportunity to attend the lectures of some leading corporate personalities. the experience however has been most frustrating!

I look at a leader in just one way. he says things to you simple and straight. no fundaes. no jargons. no impression management. unfortunately this is just not the case with ppl whom the society considers leaders. just becoz some guy builds a business of his own and makes profits for his shareholders does not mean leadership. leadership is a quality of the heart. not just the mind.

for ex, Shri. Rahul Bajaj had given us a leadership lecture. all thro the lecture he was talking abt his networking and influence. his communications with PC and other govt bigwigs. to me that is concentrated crap. Achievements in life are something very physical. they shd not be provided as an example / means for conveying leadership abilities.

Modesty is the sign of a leader. a true leader. same case with Shri. Kishore Biyani of pantaloon. he was bruiting abt his own achievements. But I loved the way Shri. R.Gopalakrishnan of TATA Sons spoke during a Pan IIT commitee meet. he was simple, unambiguous, concise and precise in his communication. and he also blasted all those who made tall claims. he was sincere in his views and thoughts.

It takes such a leader to imbibe a culture in a company or in a family.

Recently a guy from equity master.com was giving a lecture. I was astounded by the way he spoke.

This is how he defined corporate governance. When u go to sleep everynight peacefully without a remorse that u had not commited any wrong to anybody and to ur own consciousness, there lies corporate governance. self discipline is corporate governance. as simple as that.

The message was simple and clear. He talked abt values and ethics in daily life. he talked abt u and me. He did not brag the virtues of his company or his achievements so far. he talked from his heart. u cud see it in his eyes. i was impressed. he was not a big shot. but i saw in him the leadership the way i defined it to be.

I wish i cud attend more lectures of that kind.

The only lecture that remains unforgotten are the ones that convey a lot with very less spoken words.

The only speaker who remains unforgotten is the one who when he speaks finds himself among the masses he is speaking to. not as separate from the mass giving crude fundaes to the rest.

At the end of the day it does not matter who is gud at what and who achieved what.

What matters is whether ppl see u as genuine . The trust someone has in you.

There lies my idea of leadership.

Why mugging isnt all that BAD.............

2006-03-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

I have just made a statement. i bet anyone wd love to hang me for this.

All my life I have been committed to waging a never ending battle against mugging.

and now a sudden change of heart. why? that too after a real torture last 3 days trying to mug the legal aspects of business, i shd never have made this statement. but i still do.

lets define the field of industry for this mugging. perhaps that will help present the real picture of what mugging is all about....

what is it that ppl hate abt mugging....the transfer of contents from book to brain....without any wherewithal to understand and assimilate the info that is under transfer.

right. i agree. fully agree. but is it possible for any of us to survive without a bit of mugging in life. i bet no. i am ready for a debate.

we start our life by mugging A,B,C....Z. the first 11 ( 0 to 10) numbers in mathematics. the maths tables. ppl wd say we understand math tables. i say no. first u mug. no point if u dont mug, u cant do calculations in mind everytime when urgency is reqd. the school history civics stuff we do....we unknowingly mug. but then that becomes our knowledge base. how many disagree with this?

once i tried teaching the math tables logically to my sis anusha when she was in 4th i guess. i was in my engg 2nd yr i guess. i taught her innovative methods of generating tables on her own. sudha chithi trusted me that i will fetch her a gud grade in maths.

i ws shocked. my sis got 48/100. after my teaching. i knew for sure she was a smart kid. that i had a real problem communicating things to her. the day before, i taught her all these eng grammar stuff etc, and she scored some 46/50. so there was a problem. she told me that she got confused with my method of generating tables. she cud have mugged as well. and for the first time in my life, i was actually responsible for pulling down the performance of a decent student, with my psycho teaching methods. does not work everywhere.

even the guys who prepare for CAT, mug all the squares upto 50 or 100. mug all fractions from 1/2 to 1/30....so that they deploy them directly in the test.

what about greatest of engineers mugging lot of basic formulae. wd u want to get even a basic formulae from a text everytime? how many texts will u carry wherever u go? will ur google be always with u?

lemme take the legal aspects of business (LAB) course. mugging was painful. agreed. to give an idea....here goes the typical definition of a consideration in the legal context:

when at the desire of the promisor, the promisee or any other person, has acted or abstained from doing anything, acts or abstains from doing anything, or promises to act or abstain from doing anything, such an act or abstinence or promise is said to be a consideration....

sucks isn't it??

i remembered all my school days as i set out mugging the whole stuff. whats worse, in legal parlance, there is so much complication that makes all teh more painful to actually memorise.

but frankly my feeling is there is a positive fallout of mugging. u retain some info atleast when u r forced to mug. i doubt if i had an open book exam on LAB, i wd never have actually read the stuff. just blind copying the text. agreed, focus shd be on application to practical cases. but it pays to actually remember these definitions....not everytime will u need a book to get back to analyse things u read in newspapers....like those ambani episodes had a lot to do with company law and MoA, AoA etc....when u remember stuff, it will gud studying those articles in dailies and mags. everytime u wanna apply, u must not be searching for a book....theres a limit. but u have ur own discretion of what actually pays and what does not....and mug accordingly....discipline comes the hard way. Newton's first law. every body remains in its state of inertia or of uniform motion unless it is acted upon by an external impressed force. hey! i mugged it well in my class 11. now tell me if some one asks u this law and u say i dont remember....it will sound funny. yet another thing why u shd remember it in the first place. but i hv just given the reason. mu mugging helped me use the law in this blog......well this is just in a lighter vein............

we mug slokas. okay sometimes thro listening to cassetes and all. ultimately we mug. but when do we feel the slokas? when we recite it ourselves. and feel it in the mind. and every time we utter a sloka, we simultaneously consume and contemplate the meaning of the sloka.

and the cine songs. ppl search for lyrics and mug. why? is it not painful then? hehehe i do it all the time.......

agree u hv to understand things. thats taken for granted. but still mugging helps.....we store info on the hard disk rather than on a pen drive when we require the info frequently. is not mugging talking in a similar vein?

and these great quiz crackers? okay these guys accumulate info gradually. but they do mug. can u understand that Nuku Alofa is the capital of Tonga? u mug. as simple as that.

mugging is not easy. but it is not so detestable.

not everyone thinks so. for those who disagree, when was the last time u mugged without any external impetus???? just becoz it was going to pay u....think....

Moments of Happiness

2006-03-18T09:06:00.000-08:00

I was never going to write a post. 10.30 PM. woke up after a short nap with a case in hand. one more case after that. all for a marketing class tomm. Suddenly a mail appears from nowhere. classes cancelled due to unavoidable reasons. ahaaaa. one more sunday saved for me.

I call this ecstasy. I cud not stop myself shouting myself in the corridor. at the top of my voice.
" No Classes Tomorrow"!!!! few doors open. some strange stares. who cares???? i m so happy. So i wanted to write abt happiness.

What is happiness?

ever since the advent of civilisation. all thro stone, bronze age , industrial revolution, IT revolution, just one Q remains defiant. fails to be answered. or atleast the context has not changed. What is happiness???? yes. this is the same Q appearing and reappearing in everybody's mind. and in my mind too.

Topping in school. nice degree. cracking competitive exams. fat pay package. foriegn posting. tech savvy gadgets. holidaying in hawii. marrying a girl of choice. mercedes. a mobile+microprocesor. world famous. Bharat Ratna award. daily flashes in newspaper. creating a business empire. richest man in the world. everybody's turning to u for advice. guest of honour at school/college. wow.

okay. but where is happiness here. well.

For me happiness is in things which we fail to notice. infact things we neglect.

ask me. what is happiness.

when i ride on my oonjal at the centre of the hall. full speed. with filter coffee. aavi parakka. sometimes SANDHYA VANDHANAM on the oonjal. a hot discussion with daddy. when amma feeds me food on hand. paati screams at me for being negligent. akka sits for doing all the packing for college. street cricket. cleaning our water sump. pooja ranks me equal with her father as her most influential person. even ahead of sudha chithi. trade. even if i am losing. watching tintin on cartoon network. at 6.30 AM. so early. borrowing tinkle and children's digest from sukanya. practising vocals with her. in motta maadi. shreya asleep on my lap. trouble shooting her reasons of crying with akka. just sitting. blankly. on the sofa. watching TV. that is switched off! bombing a bhusvanam. screeching the gate open. as daddy enters by an auto. the joy of living in an independent house. my house. my way. discussing music with mukund. asleep in class. coffee shack. maggi bonda. cold coffee. time pass with keshav. recovering from a shoulder dislocation. masala dosa. and banana milk shake.
@ 2AM. vivek comedies. music composing. debating on psychology and people. blogging. AMMA's fan club. Dream theatre. marketing class cancelled tomorrow. one more pending. summer posting in madras. will it be a dream or reality? the holi play. sleeping. snoozing my mobile alarm continuously for an hr without gettin up. the moment just after submitting the paper of the final exam. infact the best moments of my life has been while talking with paati. and playing dhaayakattam. and chinese chequers. and when she asks me everytime i visit madras- innum samathaa thaan irukiyaa....with a mischievous gleam-obviously expecting answers from me. i never had any.

do we notice these? I do. Happiness.

I feel so happy. there is no marketing class tomm. leaves me time for conducting my survey. 100 responses. way to go.

Wait for sleep

2006-03-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Dream Theatre - Wait for Sleep

Kiran sent me this song last night. to study the keyboard notes. so that we cud replicate over the weekend. he plays nice on the guitar lead.

well I did not want to write sth abt this song. I actually wanted to describe the keyboard piece. which ofcourse i cant. i havent kept a count of how many times i ve played it. the track is repeating over and over. perfect background while sitting for some serious study.

i wish i cud upload this song for the benefit of keyboard lovers. the notes are too good.
Is there a way to upload a music file in here?

The Marketing Project - ACT- II

2006-03-10T07:40:00.000-08:00

EXPLORATORY BUYING BEHAVIOUR TENDENCIES....

the note read.

actually from as many as 17 topics, we zeroed in on the worst topic on earth! why? tough Q. only we shd have known then itself....we wanted to differentiate ourselves from other grps.... actually the prof praised our grp in particular for having taken this topic from amongst other relatively easier ones. and boy, that was a signal for us that we r unnecessarily trying kite flying without the manjhaa. i tell u again, we have been extremely adventurous and we r paying heavily for it. still we cud have done things with a single easier hypothesis. and we complicated things too much by setting up a hypothesis which was still not done in any research. over enthusiasm. blind passion. heart ruled over mind.too late when we realised that.

given the fact marketing by itself is such a perception based and highly subjective fundaes throwing subject, the topic we chose drove us crazy. for instance, i never knew variety seeking cud be so different from change seeking ( according to researchers) . these research papers r grt. they talk abt same things in so different ways that u will be convinced that u can just abt link any thing with anything. but dont try understanding the rationale. chances r that u will not. actually till date we have not understood in entirety the framework of our project ( altho we had submitted the report and the same has been graded....yeah pls dont ask the grades)

3 days left for our submission after exams. with too many threads running in parallel, we had to optimise watever lil time we had. yeah that meant googling thro the nights. i love googling. but i never liked to read the documents i download. it is such a pain. it sure is. ajay was supposedly having a night duty at the MDP lab. gaurav wd be there till midnight. they were handling accomodations for ppl attending GD PIs. i realised that i had to burn the night out at the lab along with them. try some unsuccessful googling. add more crap to the report. or whatever.

we sat thro the night. lucky for us. one 500 ml pepsi bottle to give us company. what....for 4 hrs. thats a world record for taking the longest time to drink a single 500 ml bottle. that too three guys drinking in tandem.

we were searching for the scales. the instruments that are used in a market research survey. meanwhile we had downloaded too many papers ( and read them too). and worse still, some of them contradicting the findings of the remaining. and what are we supposed to do? do this stuff over and over till we burn ourselves out? and without any result? gaurav left at three am finally. ajay and me continued with the work. 4.30 AM, i had dozed off unknowingly. guess ajay was down 15 mins before me. it was a long time since i slept in a chair. the neck was badly aching. legs cud not straighten. wonder how ajay managed. he cud not have.

i managed to open my eyes at 6 AM sharp. my first gaze fell on ajay. he was still looking hard at me and started talking abt some marketing funda. and hey! i started answering him as though we had left a conversation just a min before and were now continuing it. he had supposedly got up 15 mins before. that equalised our sleeping durations. and instantaneously googling continued. for one more hr. we left the lab at 7.15 AM.

we met again at two. we had to collate and relate all the stuff we had collected. meanwhile the prof had sent a detailed format for writing the report. too detailed. three dense pages. at one point of time we used to wonder whether our whole report wd come for three pages!!!! and that too just one day before.

vijay who was out of action for a while, with a bad throat was back in the reckoning. girish also came to the rescue. divya was happily in hyderabad. married lady that she was, we cud not hold her back in our project when she wanted to spend the exam holidays at home. she had escaped at the right time....the worst was yet to be finished.

we decided on the frame work. not very sure though. Discussed and debated unabated. finally we seemed to agree on what we were going to write. atleast we had to. din have enough time on our hands.

we did some parallel processing while making the report. vijay, girish and me were into colating the literature review while ajay and gaurav set abt making the hypothesis and the intro part. but proof reading wd be done together. or so we thought. we ended up finishing our respective parts by 2 AM. we decided to vent out our frustrations in the night canteen. i was not in a mood. managed a chocolate horlicks. others gobbled some gobi parathas.

2.30 AM. gaurav was dead frustrated. gaurav told me that we had to put this vetti stuff in my blog. proof reading was a slow affair. after all why did want ourselves to read the crap we had made ourselves. we cud aptly describe the thought process going on in our mind at that point of time by this foto

i guess i was the first one to fall asleep. in my trademark style, i do in afternoon lectures. others followed suit. 3.30 AM we were wondering why 5 of us shd bee sleeping in a single room with so much discomfort. we left the place and decided to meet at 9 AM. sharp, some one told me. sure enough, i got up at 8.55 AM. brushed my teeth and headed straight for gaurav's room. it took as nearly 4 hrs from then on to freeze the report

finally burned the report on a cd. even it was troubling us. we cudnt initially. tht cd was a goner. somehow it allowed us later.

we decided that awful night that we will keep this project association a memorable one. dheeraj came and pictured our pathetic postures. yeah he did a nice job. thanks to gaurav's digicam.

some fotos for the record:

<-- --------vijay the group leader. man, after u r the leader!!!! u gotta slog even if we dont. dont crib. we still have marketing part II. field study. get ready!!!! anyway he did slog thro the proof reading part....and looks the most serious among us in that grp foto.

yeah i realised the futility of this material life. smile was all i cud do. after all in life, what matters???? -------------->

<-- ---------Gaurav looked the most pathetic. a smile was too lil to placate him. he needs a huge dose of motivicin - the new tablet designed for motivation designed for those who do such marketing projects.

girish looked comfortable. lucky chap.

Acknowledgements:

to all u guys ( and ofcourse me too) for made having this marketing project a GREAT FAILURE.

hey!!!! we still have time to get the cards right. lets atleast get the field study right. doomed if we dont!!!!

Samje?????????

(spl thanks to vijay for making that bubbles of thoughts in the grp foto)

Disaster strikes IITB Hostels

2006-03-08T04:27:00.000-08:00

The atmosphere was feverish. and the excitement was palpable.

I was having one of those routine afti naps ( very less of them these days....with classes from afti to night this term)....

continuous noise of buzzing and four to five messenger windows all across the screen. i decided not to get up. then some rude knocks on teh door as well. still i was as dead as i cud be.

and woke up 20 mins before start of class. the corridor was vibrating with people shouting " Orkut is banned, Orkut is banned"

yeah. orkut has been successfully firewalled here. by IIT B CC.

try opening orkut.com....and the displays says IIT Bombay actively encourages use of internet only for educational purposes.

well i thought to myself. so that was the reason for all the buzz in the hostel.

Yeah i was also partly affected though i dont scrap regularly or sth. I had just been tracking down some old school mates and college mates. and having some fun with batchmates here as well. But hey! i had a reason to cheer.

Blogger.com survived. atleast till this moment i am writing this post.

Long live blogging and long live bloggers.

PS:

I realised one important fact of life during this event. that end of day, it is not money, fame, knowledge or any other thing that humans crave for......

People crave for people!!!! or it seems so from this incident.

Alas orkut is no more orkut in our hostel....

it is orquit!!!! no wonder i can see quite a few status messages - orkut blocked by CC. IITB CC sucks and so on.......

A Marketing ( Markgetting) Affair - Intro

2006-03-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

2.30 AM. 27.02.2006.

Gaurav turned towards me " yeh marketing project hamaaraa vaat lagaa diyaa. jaise hi katham ho jaathaa hai, ye sab tere blog mein likhega"....i was too tired to reply. I nodded slightly. we were still editing the first draft. we needed to do a complete scan of the report. and make the dozens of changes as ever..........burning it on a cd will happen much later. virus scan seemed forgotten. writing the refernces was the worst task as we realised. proof reading was painful. gainful? who knowss....

3.45 AM

all five of us were sleeping right in front of the lappie. luckily one of us ( who?) suddenly woke up and ordered " Disperse"....and all marched off to their respective rooms. the project was still to be completed. last three nights have been horrible. there were reasons. quite a lot. now all back in rooms. and........ zzzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzz........

___________________________________________________________________ A bit of intro:

Vijay Goel ( group leader), gaurav mittal, Ajay, Girish, Divya and myself were destined to do this marketing project together. ( Divya is not a part of this post....as she missed out all the 'fun'!!!!) and for what fun means - pls contact Ajay. we both came close to authoring " One night @ the Comp Centre" on 25th night in our desparate attempt to search for our (marketing) destiny.

A word abt marketing course here. This place is known more for Ops and IT. I tell u , marketng demands more work than any other course here. to explain why consider....the amount of reading and googling we had done for the marketing project was much more than our total efforts for preparing for all the term exams and other projects in the third term!!!! quizzes are grt. u r given MCQs with 100% negative marking ( a whopping 100 MCQs in our final exam, all application based followed by a subjective paper). Markgetting is not quite easy in marketing....coupled by the plethora of perilous paralysing phrases in Kotler and Keller....( making our life 'hell'er)

Actually I was a late entry to the project. Divya, Ajay and Vijay started off well. they diligently collected a dozen research papers to break their heads with. i was a mute participant in all the initial discussions. that was before exams. as my acads was not in gud shape, i had to spend some time on it. however i made my presence in all meetings and was keeping track of what ws going on.

girish resolved not to start work until exams were over. so he literally absconded. gaurav was kind of in and out initially. moreover, he was in admissions commitee managing Gd/ PIs. then he is our star performer in international B School challenges. he was preparing for his prefinals. finals wd be in singapore. so he was busy with those stuffs.

we paused for the exams. we had big time mugging. the worst we did since joining the course!!!! the exams ended. after chilling the final day out, we realised that we were in a BIG mess.

the details will follow later. well, this will be a lil longer post. take a small break........

Gaurav, u sure can wait a little longer....can u ?

Life and Chemical Engg

2006-02-28T06:22:00.000-08:00

Ironically the only subject i loved in my engg was the one everyone seemed to hate. somehow. i mean Chemical Engineering Thermodynamics.

There are two fundamental concepts in Thermodynamics. they are equilibrium and entropy.

lets define both in a very simple manner;

equilibrium is a state in which a body does not a have a tendency to move on either side on which forces are acting on it. some level of order prevails.

entropy is the degree of randomness of a system. disorderliness.

the chemical funda is that a system at equilibrium will tend to have a low level of entropy. entropy is basically a waste of energy.

just a thought abt entropy. most ppl say that u need passion to do a task well. which is a very wrong notion. atleast Swami Vivekananda says so. and i completely agree ( well, he is a genius, there is no point of my agreeing or disagreeing with him). this is so because, passion is a feeling. feelings means energy is spent and dissipated on them. so loss of energy does not result in good work. all that is needed is focus. less of excitement. silence. concentration. stillness. peace. that will only deliver results.

coming back to our discussion, from definitions of equilibrium , it seems as though equilibrium will decrease entropy. atleast thats the impression i get.

the contradiction

lets look at life. Mr. A is unemployed. he finally gets a nice job. i mean good pay, job roles etc. initially he was desperate for a job. after he got the job, there was an expectation or desire level.
so i can say he was at level 1 initially. his expectation from the job causes his mental state to desire a higher state level 2. as he works on, his state changes continuously from level 1 to level 2. when he reaches level 2 we can say that he has reached an equilibrium wrt to this expectation levels.

now this equilibrium brings a stagnation. he feels unsatisfied. the feelings start showing up. the entropy of his mental system starts to increase.

so equilibrium is infact leading to entropy.

remember the equilibrium is also in the mental system and the entropy is also in the mental system.
isn't that funny?

i dont think there is a flaw in my reasoning.

anyway floor is open to debate.

Bombay to Madras - Flight to fantasy - Part 2

2006-02-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

A big relief. all credit courses exams over.height of obscene mugging! now Just ITPM audit left day after.that too open book exam. no need to mug. Thank GOD. and yeah i shd purchase the book first without forgetting....well then lemme free my mind of all kachdaas i had accumulated as a result of hard core mugging.

where did i leave? yeah. i was waiting at the airport.......five PM. slowly i went thro the security checks. it was smooth. unlike my return journey from madras to bbay . during my return journey, i was finishing my security checks and moved to the last counter just before the flight. as luck wd have it, the security sticker (or types) they attach to the bags had fallen down. and the security wd not let me go further. 10 mins left. and i had to get back and find out the place where i had to get that sticker again. i did not want to miss the flight yet again. all projects and quizzes that was waiting for me back at college made me run harder for that sticker. murphy says the worst is yet to come. boarding was frm first floor. and the damn lift was not coming at all. and i am really afraid of escalators ( just as afraid as i am of these diwali flower pots....i manage to bomb one almost everytime i try) . so had to run down the stairs. somehow, intercepted a security guy, managed a thrown away sticker. luckily not marked. and raced to the counter. and was just in time for the boarding. somehow i have a strange liking to this japanese manufacturing concept. phew!!!!
EASHWARO RAKSHATHU!

back to the original bombay to madras journey.

i uncovered the real picture of airlines industry that day.
one as i mentioned earlier are the hostess who much to my disappointment were more like powder puffed dolls. i bet these ranganathan street figures are a million times better ( havent been there for a long time though;)

just as ppl enter the cabin, these ppl greet with a sweeeeeeeet smile. well the falsest smile one can ever hope. i dont really blame them. thats their job. they gotta do that. but i cant stand false smiles. i just walked in.

and boy, welcome to the economy class. the aisle space was so cramped. literally they had made the best use of the word economy. An AC chaircar in brindavan exp was much better i thought! i took my seat. luckily my seat was just ahead of the wings. so i cud actually feel how much the plane angles up and down. and CFD was written on the wings ( computational fluid dynamics for short). ahaa. chemical engg made me feel nostalgic.

okay now the most awaited moment. refreshments ofcourse!!!! some orange coloured juice. havent still figured wat that was. atleast the taste ws not gud. bad luck. there were two more types which i ditched for this one. the lady serving was coming back. here is my chance i thought. i decided to give her a sweet smile and take another glass stealthily. the lady was too sweet for me as she gave me 'jagaa' and took my cup without giving me a chance to try another. then usual samosa, cutlet types. how less they gave. okay i dont mean i want sth of a kind u expect at a marriage reception. still, 4000 odd bucks. they sure can give more. anyway who cares. and they write in bold letters - customer satisfaction - value delivery and other stupid jargons. i hate jargons. what to do. jargons are the only organs of the average MBA. if they are not there, how will philip kotler survive?

at the least i thought i wd get a 'delightful' companion to spend 1.5 hrs. and a guy who all his life had rigged oil ( not elections) abroad was destined to be my journey partner. he told abt his exploits abroad and bored me to death. if a chemical engineer who worked in oil industry can get bored with this guy, u shd imagine how he shd have bored me. and i dont care a damn abt oil drilling!

the airline girls up there in the flight enact all safety procedures to teh whole crew. actually i felt very sorry for them. i mean, these ppl have to do this acting stuff day in and day out in front of 3oo ppl. they might get paid. but still. probably i felt more uncomfortable than they were. but someone has to do the job. and doing sth for ensuring safety of passengers was a noble job at that. but then we always think why me? and i thought why them! life is so unfair. on one hand, u find ppl ensconced in their positions enjoying the flight journey. and on the other hand, some ppl need to be there , do that, all for livelihood. maybe life is a zero sum game. some ppl have to do errand jobs because others do 'decent' jobs. its a difficult situation. maybe life is meant to be that way. i lost the whole spirit of flying. just waited to land up in madras. and now again i feel bad thinking of such inequities in life. for example asia's largest slum is in bbay - dharaavi. its too bad too frustrating. it really is. why do these things happen? will i make a difference to atleast some one some day? i dont feel like writing anymore.

i m stopping here.

Jack or King

2006-02-18T00:30:00.000-08:00

I wanted to stay from writing a post atleast till my exams get over which will be next saturday. but then things dont happen they way they are planned out to be. infact just before i was to leave for the exam, this post struck me. anyway i thought i will post after exams. but after todays pathetic ops exam, i wanted to break free. only PERUMAL can bail me out. not that the exam was tough or sth. yeah it was well set though. but i have my own ways of collapsing in the main game. simple problems. but poor application. every problem, screwed the later half . reaffirming the fact that academically i seem to have hit rock bottom and digging deeper. anyway thats my own misery. my own.

well what actually struck me (today morning) was this concept of jacks and kings! we often hear phrases - jack of all trades- master of none.

which is better? jack or master ? tough Q? or is it just that it is subjective?

first, some ppl are extremely gifted! they are really gud at certain things. i mean across a wide spectrum of competitors, they will have their winning their ways. they have formal training in their disciplines. their areas will be limited. but they are the masters in those areas. and so they stick to their core competences. sounds nice and trim.

then, there are ppl, who try doing a lot of things. but their sphere of influence is limited. limited versatility if u can call it. dabbling into a bit of variety. by limited i mean, certain places they are known for sth. other places they are known for being good at other activities. and they are never known for being gud at sth at all the places.

now primarily ppl say unless one is extremely gud at sth there is no use doing many things.

i dont actually do a lot of things. but i atleast tried a few. and mediocre at everything. for example, in my seventh std, my first tryst with music started with veena. i actually wanted to learn singing. but the music teacher told that i was not gud enough for that. so veena started. just when i was picking pace, i ditched it for exams. actually i was not interested in it much.

even after the initial singing fiasco, in 1oth i was lucky to be a part of AIR all india grp competition troupe. so i took it from there. and tried singing at cultural gatherings at college and reliance. luckily i was not thrown out. but still i can never try very high pitches. so there are limitations. and i am a zero at carnatic stuff, though i listen to some selectively. so thats another handicap ( particularly while trying composing)

then in 11th and 12th, i was forced to learn tabla (as part of school curriculam, in that grt school jaigopal gaodia hindu vidyalaya) . i attend the first class of every new lesson.practise for a couple of classes then bunk rest of the classes. and so went on two years. at this stage, though i can try tabla , i might never make it so good.

then after joining engg, started dabbling with small keyboards. though i can try playing or composing, i just cannot use both hands. actually in reliance, i joined a formal keyboard instruction class. but i was bored to learn right from start. all those lil notes and all. so i ditched it as well. so even now playing base as well as lead simultaneously in the keyboard is impossible ( atleast for now)

i had bought a mouth organ, which i tht i wd learn by myself. i did start decently. but now its 6 months since i dusted it. but the good news is its still there. safe and sound.

this is not the case with music. but with sports and other stuff i started in school.

now the crux starts. i sometimes feel that in trying a lot of things ( some involuntary as well, like veena for instance), i had actually lost out in being gud atleast in one thing.

but actually i never wanted to learn any of these things for becoming an exponent. just wanted some fun. and actually in trying out so many instruments (pathetic though) , my ears became more attentive to the nuances of music. and i never set goals for myself. i simply cannot. many a times, i feel there is no point in anything. we just need to live along. try to embrace the spirit of life in a holistic manner rather than doing everything for a purpose. life is too beautiful in narrowing our perceptions to a particular activity.

satisfaction is a process. not a point. when we sing our heart out, it is not the acknowledgement by others that makes us feel good. but the process of singing itself does. that voice within that keeps telling us. life is a journey not a destination. and journey means making new acquaintances. and relishing those memories.

purposive life is the last option that i wd think of falling back on.

but then there is the opposite school of thought. that being the master is the wiser one.

i am not sure. well atleast my school is different.

Bombay to Madras

2006-02-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

I dunked it ! I missed it !! I screwed it !!!

It was a monday evening. suddenly athimber (sis's husband) rang up. some urgent work. i had to leave for madras. he said he was booking the Jet Airways for tuesday afti at 3.20 PM. fine. but had some work to be completed before i could catch the flight.

Let me tell u frankly. a trip to home is itself a pleasant surprise. and going by air was like adding sugar to honey. moreover, it has taken 25 years of my life to make my first sail through the skies. so i was kind of thrilled! whats more, the first picture that flashed through my mind at the thought of going by air was....slurrrppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brahmanaa Bhojana priyaaaa. father tells often. he could not have been wrong. atleast my case was perfect.

I left pretty early from SOM. at around 10.45 AM. had to get some immigration docs and then proceed to santa cruz for catching the flight. as there was enough time, i decided to kill time by waiting at the bus stop without any attempt whatsoever to get into any bus. after 45 mins, i decided it will get too crunchy coz of teh passport thing. so i finally entered one.

after all that traffic ( believe me, bbay is the only place on earth which could be crowded like hell even in aftis) , i did manage to get to that doc collection place ( also at santa cruz) pretty early....around 1.00 pm. now i was waiting for the concerned party to get the documents to me. i was left waiting for two hrs before the guy came there.

and i was supposed to catch the flight at 3.20. what kind of time keeping is this? anyway i was not at fault ( for the first time)....and moreoever this last minute thing was breathing around my neck. does it occur to me so naturally? every time. now i seriously wondered if i had to consult an astrologer abt what was technically wrong abt my jathakam ( horoscope) . this is getting a bit too much for comfort. well, managed to catch an auto at 3.10.

i reached the airport soon enough. at 3.15 pm. i hurried to the check in area where i was told that the boarding was over. and technically i had missed the flight!

what next ? had to wait for the 5.30 pm flight. and i had to get a fresh ticket ( ofcourse a discounted one). moved to the ticket counters. all teh counters wore long Qs. so decided to check out the counter with the prettiest face. alas, i cd not find any. all the 'faces' were puffed up with powder upto 10 mm of thickness. nothing notable abt them. natural beauty seemed just too impossible. sad for such an airlines company. and I thought airlines attracted pretty females. and my first assumption abt this airlines industry had just gone down the drain!

stood in a Q relatively small with some guy processing the tickets. he checked my ticket and said 3050 bucks xtra. WHAT? i bought a ticket for 400o bucks. and after discounted fare, he means i have to shell out 3000 bucks. he sure was joking. or completely ignorant.

and the latter was true as i later found out. the guy was completely confused ( but i was not amused) . after a lot of fighting up over the figures, i was told i had to pay out 1500 bucks.

The next bombshell. maestro cards are not accepted. i reached out for my credit card. and boy, i never had a clue that it had expired a year back!!!!

now i had to get cash. to get the ticket. reached for my wallet. 700 bucks only. i asked them to freeze my ticket. and that i wd get back in 10 mins. atleast they acceded to this request.

now i was frantically searching for an ATM. cud not find any nearby. i appraoched a person standing near a Corrola to ask abt any ATM that cud be there. he said it was not nearby though. however he said he was also moving out of the airport and offered to take me to the ATM.

in the car, i was talking to athimber abt the screw up ( in tamil). then this person addressed me in tamil. aha. somehow it felt so sweet. and he said that the car was actually the car of the chairman of JP morgan stanley and that he had come to drop the chairman's daughter and was on his way back. ( was the dad teh same guy who gave us dikshaa?....i was lost in thoughts)

we drove to what was actually the " first floor" of teh airport through a tortuous route.
i cud find a icici atm from wher i was able to with draw the money. the gentle man dropped me back at the ticket counter and made his way back.

this is where PERUMAL is there i stood thinking ( and thanking) !

got the tickets. completed teh check in formalities and waited in teh lobby watching the ongoing ind-pak test. awaiting my first flight journey. ( technically it is the second flight. my first flight never existed:)

as i was waiting to board , i was just sinking into a thought......

i got the car trip to the ATM right. but....

did i just miss the chairman's daughter perhaps......hehehe.......

PART 2 of flight journey after exams.

Tagged!!! - My eight point someone

2006-02-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

Its time for celebrations (though no bumps pls). Its official. Both hands r working:))

Nearly three weeks since i ve written blogs using both hands....lol....so its really sweet typing with both hands finally !!!

okay so i ve been tagged( whoever brought this taggin culture)

and the culprit? kulveer

The rules:

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again ( atleast i am not a 'kenai')

(all this tamaashaa as if i m going to reveal my opposing side....kuch bhi yaar....anyway for ur satisfaction)

First few ground rules -

Lover??? whats that? . i will use the term 'partner' instead
'perfect' is vague as well. so removed.

Sex of partner: Female

okay, my Eight point someone comes somewhere close to the following ;)

She will take care of my parents much more than I can. (its sooo long since i stayed with amma and daddy)
She will look elegant in saree and churidhar (in that order). bindi in forehead is a must. so is long flowing hair. jeans is a big no no.
She WILL NOT ask me to go shopping with her for bindi and stub kammal. GRT jewellery, Chennai silks, Nalli silks is highly unimaginable. (had enough of it with mom and sis). 'Intha colour promise' absolutely chance less!!!! and importantly she will not 'pester' me....hehehe....
She will be cool headed and have a natural ability to react to situations ( and should teach me how to....i am poor at PR)
She will have lesser romantic notions and so shall not be disappointed with me. (i cant romance, for nuts)
She will not have big aspirations for abroad life or even for flying to places. My life funda is very simple. circle around Adambakkam (my place in chennai) and hv my daily cuppa curd rice. and will put up the swing (in the centre of the hall) as well once i settle in chennai. and watch damn old tamil movies in ktv with that cup of filter coffee (swinging in the meanwhile).
She will have complete faith in me.
and boy, the order qualifier - She will have deep striking eyes !!!!

Phew!!!! i am bored. whos left? nobody.......

yeah....amrutaunshu, ravi, is that all......?

ashok, keshav hope u wd setup ur blogs in a day or two...... so aaraambathuliyee maateneenga!!!!

i tag u both as well!!!!

(and when is our semmavetti.blog....goin to start? ). illa verum vetti pechu thaanaa as usual?

SOM Batch of 2007

2006-01-30T11:04:00.000-08:00

My only class foto till date after schooling and engg. somehow.

so i guess i wanted this one pretty badly.

Okay some more fotos at close ranges -

This one is an uglier shot in the sense that it is not shot centrally. atleast faces r visible a bit more. the prev one ws shot beautifully but at a distance. the background was decent but faces were hardly visible!

kulveer this one is for u. u r in full size;)

Big is beautiful....??

2006-01-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

I dont know. Some say small is beautiful.

When we put in the indian context ( govt....in particular), i come back to the former. heres why....

1. take todays paper. the supreme court report on the " unconstitutionality" of the dissolution of the bihar assembly was of 450 pages. When asked why congress was yet to take action against the governer, The home minister says, he has just finished reading 275 pages. he cud not read the rest due to " other " engagements. hows that?

even the telgi scam report ( or charge sheet) weighed over 1500 pages. n so many others.

i guess how much can people write?

2. my appointment order from ONGC ( in 2003) with all details ( i mean all...............it was one long list) went upto 35 to 40 pages. and i finally never read more than 4-5 pages i guess ( n din join there either). in gen these orders come upto max of ten pages.

3. my b.tech project report including all irrelevant useless data ( the most part of the report) only made up to 35 pages. my batch mates seemed to have the knack of filling 150 pages of tripe. n it sure looked impressive than ours....

4. all these board exams operate on this gravitational effect F = Mg. more the 'M' factor the more marks u get. in univ exams, i struggled to get past the initial booklet of 22 pages . occasionally i did take upto 3 extra sheets. and my classmates end up with 65 pages ( that is nearly 12 xtra sheets ( whopping). n these ppl score more than me eventually me. :O

i dont understand this funda.

why all this big? to think n dream big is okay. but how big n in wat kind????

The Phd thesis of John Nash ( remember beautiful mind)was only 25 pages. why do ppl here r obsessed with " big" reports n stuff. ( strangely so is the population scene in india;)

if only someone has an answer..........

Change of my blog address

2006-01-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

Owing to local demand (from tamils here), I have decided to change my blog address from

http://ara-aca.blogspot.com
to
http://lottu-losukku.blogspot.com

The new address will become operational by the coming monday, the 30th of Jan.

Thanks and regards to all.

Aravindan Krishnan

Where You wanted to be

2006-01-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

Actually its the reverse.

I had just gotten hold of the lyrics of a 'Darren Hayes' Song , i never actually heard till date! (i m still hunting for the same)

The title of the post is the song i m talking abt. guess the lyrics really stuck me.

and if anybody has / gets this song, pls do lemme know!

and heres how the lyrics go----

Hey there stranger
Do you remember?
You were a part of my life
Early December
Think I remember?
Sentiment cuts like a knife
The seasons are changing
Life's rearranging
Full of good times
Would have beens
Its all your fault
And whereve you been
And how time goes
And though I dont even know
How to fill in the spaces
of the love youve erased in my life

Are you where you wanted to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did I make you sacrifice?
Did you make a sharp left
When you should have turned right?
Are you where you wanted to be?
Did you sell off all your gold
Did you trade it in?
Did you wait for love
Or settle for somebody to hold?

And barely symphonic
But strangely ironic
Moments contained in one glance
Oh how i adored you
But now im ignored by you
Nowhere a tint of romance
And now its vaguely familiar
i think i remember sharing every single intimacy
It doesnt seem so strange to me that we barely entertained
Even the politest of phrases
But sometimes at night
I conjure you up in my mind

Are you where you wanted to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did i make a sharp left
When you should have turned right?
Are you whereyou wanted to be?
Did you sell off all your gold
Did you trade it in?
Did you wait for love
Or settle for somebody to hold?

While I was busy
Perfecting the art
Of deflecting compliments
I took it too far
And i let a ripple run right through my heart
Of battle stations we're building
You and i just grew apart
We grew apart

While i decided
To make everyone else happy
i just put aside
My foolish pride
I guess I denied
My own desire
I was too busy pleasing
To ever be pleased
I forgot how to breathe
Or question anything
Or ask why?
Am I?

Am I where I wanted to be?
Did i get here easily?
Did I make a sacrifice?
Did I take a sharp left
When i should have turned right?
Am I where i wanted to be?
Can i sell off all of my gold?
Can I trade it in?
Will I wait for Love
Or settle for somebody to hold

I'd settle for somebody to hold now

You know that ive been up and ive been down
ive been picked up and spun around
id do it all again
if i could just have somebody to hold now
I just need somebody to hold now
Could somebody hold me now?
I just want somebody to hold me now
I'd do it all again

from his album " Tension and the Spark" (2004)

Some dilemma

2006-01-18T05:38:00.000-08:00

I was feeling down for the past few days....

i knew the pressure was getting to me. it was one of those times i had to make those crucial decisions. i know it is not unusual . for anyone to make such decisions in some part(s) of their life. but the Q was why i shd have been in a such a wrangle.

anyway....

it was one Early saturday morning when i woke up. 11 AM.

With eyes half opened, i managed to grab a toothpaste and a brush and made my way to the wash basin. as i started my job (of brushing) suddenly sth seemed to hit me ( not physically). i meant a thought hit me. on observing my face on the mirror.

what i saw might not be sth totally surprising. but it was still was kind of . atleast for me.

what did i see?

A single little white hair in my moustache.

but, i had no such white thing in my beard. and this little one seemed to disturb me. by waking me upto reality. reminding me that," boss, ur time is running out, and it wont be too long when u step out of college, u will be left with one black hair and none more"

i retired back to my room with a heavy heart. thinking abt this deeply. and i shared this misery
to my friends. dint get any solace though.

A day or two passed. certain flash backs started playing.
One month back:-

I usually have a clean shaven face. and I decided to give this one a try. a french beard. after all only in college can u experiment things. nobody cares how u look. and even if they, u need not care a damn for that. once u get into corporate life, u cant fool around with ur looks. u start living for others. worrying abt stupid things and all. and they attach a term. corporate dignity. or some such crap. so i decided to consciously pursue this decision. NOW.

i knew the kind of protest it wd instigate back at madras. running the risk of my father disowning me. and paati ( my fav) wd be pained. at such (stupid)antics. anyway i had decided to take the plunge.

and i did.

and one night i had gotten sleep way too early. 11pm. all of a sudden one friend appeared from nowhere. i just sat up half awake. without a warning, he took out of his mobile camera, took a foto of my sleepy face, with this french beard. well. i thought. i might as well mail this home. to paati and appa. let them see how it looks now itself. maybe when i reach home, they might get accustomed to my face with 'that'.

the mail did not recieve an encouraging response. however sudha chithi did call up and warned me against removing this french beard. and i did not refuse.

landed up at home. few days later. grand welcome ofcourse from appa, amma and paati on my arrival.

next morning.

the ' discussion' started as i was browsing this indian express.

appa and paati started off in unison.

that they were deeply 'grieved'. at this 'incident' .

what???? grieved??????

and u call this " incident" ????

after much of parrying, i got away with their compulsions. mostly all chithis approved of this french thing. and some chithappas. amma din like it too. but she does not opine much in these things.

this tamashaa continued for ten days. then thot, i just wanted an opinion on this. and got it from all quarters. so remaining three days, i shd keep appa and paati happy as well. so got back to my original clean look. yeah. it generated animated expressions in their faces.

and they said " ippo thaan daa u r true iyengar".

wait. i was the first among 'perans' in my whole family to complete upanayanam. and even " samaashanam" along side previous generation. to get into the league of " Sri Vaishnava". I dont understand these jargons. . atleast for namesake, i can mention these. and how come i become this " true iyengar" all of a sudden. after these many years of service. anyway.

son enough i was finally back to hostel.

Back to Original Time now: ( and that dilemma)

two days after things seemed to change.

actually kind of started loving that lil white thing. after all not every one gets a single white strand like this. i seemed to enjoy this. and took immense pride in it. and that " sami " thing was playing in the background.

again all 'gud' things come to end. i cud not afford to grow my beard any further. the irritating part is to provide explanations for not shaving. as though, i was doing a 'devdas'. so had to decide on shaving off the whole stuff ( as i either keep some beard or have a "mazha mazha look" ).

and it seemed to be hardest decision i was to take in life). the thought of losing my beloved 'white hair' was too much for me....ultimately, mind prevailed over heart.

i dunno if i have taken the right decision. ( all the while, i tried confirming with junta here whether that 'single' white strand wud appear again with the moustache)....

i only hope it does.

kaalamelaam kaathirupen ;)

What I have learnt from this management course........

2006-01-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

well we ( i mean myself and this course) do have a serious problem? somewhere. somehow.

I haven't studied so less for engg even. and i cant even recall let alone relate what i am doin in here!!!! what exactly did i get to learn here?
well thats a tough Q ( just as i was asking amru, the other day, as to why we guys live at all)

What I have gotten however is self realisation ( not the 'nirvana' stuff)

I learnt quite a few things (abt myself and the system here) after gettin here. heres how they go ;)

1. I have a proverbial starting problem with scoring in the " first quiz/test " i take in a given year, sem or a term. u can say " First quiz" syndrome .okay it kind of started from school days. and the first test results in all three terms here have only accentuated my grief. a look at my 'first quiz' scorecards will show how one can score literally obscenely low marks. i know its tough to publish such stupid marks so openly. but i cant help it. As long as the end of the day is fine, who cares?
class 11 - 2/(25 or 50)....dont remember exactly ( and that too in math 'vectors' - and these biology studs thought vectors infect only bodies) ;
college first yr univ - 67 pc ( amidst all that second jee attempt hungama)
first term here - 14/25
second term here - 1.5/5 ( started OR on a shaky ground)
this third term however has been path breaking - 1.5/9 (ops - damn this overconfidence) . whats worse, was expecting to get a negative score with negative marking scheme being applied. somehow ended on a positive note....err....i mean a positive score.

The truth however is, GOD pulls me up from such abysmal levels to some degree of respectability, in the tests to follow thus saving the day for me.

2. I have become a sort of expert in this word game- cow/bulls -( some ppl call it Black/White in madras). and I have Amru and sujay to lock horns with. and classrooms are the only places we play this game. cant afford to waste time in the hostel. where we have other modes of recreation. It is a word game where one guy will think of some 4 letter word. the other guy has eight chances. he must guess 4 letter words. if the letters in the original word is in same position as in the suggested word, we mark 1/2/3/4 cows ( or whites)/ if the letters in the original word is present in a different position in the suggested word, we mark 1/2/3/4 bulls ( or blacks). and then logicise the position of the 4 letters and find the word. our notebooks are littered with uncountable 4 letter words.( its really amazing to understand how many 4 letter words have been created by man). we are curently contemplating reducing the number of guesses to 6. and it is our earnest endeavour to spread this culture through out the class. ( we have deal with the stationary shop, that this word game really necessitates purchase of rough books....cant reveal the commission though)

3. I can handle Antakshari, in hindi as well. amrutaunshu gives company as ever. he has a gud voice, i shd admit. and yeah it happens in classrooms only. when too much of discussion happens ( most of it pretty useless, i am sure), one can afford to sing a bit louder. the voice is drowned in the din. yeah now and then there are obstacles, with surprise Qs, being shooted ( and for which we have no answers) . But i know we can still do it. What amru?

4. I am much more worse at music composing than I thought. My first attempt was not much of a hit. blame it on the staid rythm tracks of this synthesiser. and add to it , the absence of drumpad ( to get that human touch) and the recording quality( straight from keyboard to comp). With Kiran getting his electric guitar in place and hoping rohit to bring his tabla soon enough and amrutaunshu to contribute to this 'stuff' with his classical knowledge , i am sure we gonna go places.

5. I have this insatiable appetite for sleep. I sleep 10 hrs in a working week. and 12-14 hrs in the weekend. atleast if not sleeping, just lying in bed, dreaming of things i know i cannot accomplish (like music composing for instance). ( and we hear B-schoolers sleep for 4 hrs a day and other rotten stuff, well atleast i dont do. neither do my batch mates afaik). actually i misunderstood it. seniors told me they sleep for 4 hrs in a day. i realised pretty late that we actually had classes for 4 hrs a day. and it is this 4 hrs they were talking abt ;)

6. people dont respect frankness. We had a comm skills presentation. had to present on our passion. I ws the last to present. that after 4 hrs. class was almost dead. and when i started mine and told them that my passion was kids and ultimate happiness was in being a good father, the class burst into laughter. ( and even after confirming that i was a bachelor as on date, I didn't recieve any application for the same!!!!). pity them how do they know the difficulty of parenting................yeah....atleast i got decent grades for my presentation.

7. The first comers to the class always fight for the last benches. and whats worse, its not the work ex guys who do it, its these so called 'enthused' freshies.......

8. We all guys here, fully believe, in the infallibility of yahoo polls, as the custodian of free and fair demo'crazy' in making any decision that involves the interests of the whole class. we have different reasons for conducting such polls. like whether exams shd be open book or not, grps shd be random or self made. ( for eg, one such stupid decision made me mug 650 slides for a single paper,that too in a dry subject like MIS). Recently the class think tank (headed by me) is discussing on a framework for identfying the scope of this yahoo poll thingy. It is expected to extend this yahoo polling to crucial decisions like how much time we shd ask prof for breaking in between sessions, how much shd the topper score to make RG less painful for others ( by keeping the std deviation lower) , how many students at most can sleep in the same session, whether we shd come to class, fully prepared with the cases that are to be discussed by prof in the next class and many more..............

9. Taking the cue from my lil cousin sis pooja, i have also started this carrying out conversations thro rough book scrapping....in sessions that have no takeaways, only getaways actually......see what 7 yearolds can teach u....

10. We have more fun things to do in class than just sleeping the time away ( and whats more, we also perform 'value added services' like waking up ppl after class, that too free of cost)

11 . and If i gotta survive this term ( the most painful so far), I gotta stop this blog NOW.

Tata

I call this Mu'sick' -

2006-01-10T23:24:00.000-08:00

" Kanda Naal Muthalaai kaathal peruguthadi....kaiyinil vela piditha karunai siva baalanai....."

A few disclaimers before i proceed further. I am not a music critic. I have no grt music knowledge as such. But I have the locus standi of being an ardent music fan. So i guess i have all the moral rights to spell out my take on music, the contemporary style.

Whats with the music composers these days.....? Is it a dire shortage of creativity or the prospect of unearthing obscene money in this film industry ? The film industry itself, btw,is, of late, redefining its boundaries, at a tremendous pace. Why the quality of music is never quite the same like it was a few decades back or say atleast a decade back. This is regarding both tamil as well as hindi music ( I will talk abt hindi later on).

Before we get to provide a critical analysis of contemporary music, we shd stop to think how music is being redefined, in terms of its focus, since last 50 years.
and Music as everybody knows is an eclectic mixture of vocal and instrumental components, institutionalised, into a soulful rendition of the intangible inner voice .

Early days, music was a support function in the film industry ( it still is, but still major changes have happened). That was the Tyaagaraaja Bhaagavathar era. There ws not much of instrumental component happening. focus was totally on content of song in a simple style.

Then came our M.S.Viswanathan era. The instrumental component was still relatively low profile. but this era saw the effect of english jazz, pop etc finding its way. Still the songs were focussed on lyrics and vocal while the instrumental part was a perfect foil to the vocal rendition. I wd say the best ever songs ( from my viewpoint) came from this era.

Then came the IllayaRajaa era. now this era is again divided into two distinct phases. The first phases was a painless transition of the MSV music style based on more vocal components into a partial instrumental commitment. There ws more use of the tabla, flute, strings etc. Then with more ' competitors' the focus was to absorb and appreciate the role that instrumental component had to play. The music industry was on the threshold of witnessing an enormous change now. The pros were the new developments in sound technology resulting in a better transmission of vocal and instumental outputs.

Then ofcourse came A.R.R. Instrument suddenly became the king. The songs were now more closely treading the carnatic path and ofcourse others were there too. But music was heavily instrumentalised.

now there are different players. Not much to talk abt them.
In all these eras , i have had fav songs. so it is not like i advocate a particular era.
Now the problem lies with the practice of using technology substituting it for human creativity. I do love techno music but not when they manifest as noise signals without the human element in them.

run a track. start mixing music with it. this is hardly the way music as started by man, with his brain-mind interconnection envisaged itself.
most often, the spirit of a song gets lost in the music that engulfes it. and there are thousands of sounds operating in absolute incoherence that u cant understand whats happening. I call this robotic music. the only difference between human and robots is humans can feel and think for themselves. we are tring to logicise the musical exercise even though it is supposed to be an art!

next overt plagiarism.
keep downloading foriegn music and add a bit of masalaa to it. and u are done. the song becomes a chart buster. for heaven sake, dont write " music composed by....". instead mention "music adapted by"! that wd be more honest.

Remixes. The song i mentioned at the top ( kanda naal....)is a typical example. adding a supremely fast beat to what is a slow mellifluous song achieves what purpose. Just imagine if if u were to listen to a similar fast remix of Bombay Jayashree's Sarvam Brahma Mayam....u will go crazy. I also listen to remixes. i liked alaipaayuthey remix. but teh difference is the instrument sounds were light, more connecting to a bhajan / devotional song. ofcourse carnatic music buffs would ridicule even that. they have the right to do so.

Technically a remix of a carnatic song or a old song is like fast food. i prefer the term junk food when the stuff gets more ruthless (acc to me). nobody has time to compose. take a base. add a lot of ingredients to it. make sure it is spicy ( peppy in music terminology). while fast food hurts the stomach, remixes hurt the original composer. second it is ' covert' plagiarism. what is the fun in a taking an old song and adding technology to it and presenting it as oldwine in a new bottle? it may still require talent. but pls dont call that creativity for heaven sake.

finally i hate " dapaanguthu" or tapori songs! these have become a regular feature of films nowadays. for attracting masses. video and audio are in intense competition to decide which is the worst between them in illustration of such dapaanguthu songs.

Even if i am not a purist in listening to music, i cannot stand such gross indifference to music, the way it is done.

Thats market driven approach for u. music is hot business. not an art for self actualisation!

For the purists, I have nothing to say.

for guys like me, just keep hoping for sth better. cribbing in the meanwhile.
and for the masses who like such masalaa stuff - its ur time baby.

That leaves to another fundamental debate -
which of the two is superior - Creation or the creator ?

PS :

The charanam of kanda naal muthalaai song sounds similar in tune to the charanam of " Kurai ondrum illai...." song sung by MS. isn't it?

'Algorithmic Analysis of an Intimidating Infant'

2006-01-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

Job satisfaction is a buzz word nowadays.

For me, the "Job" gave me tremendous satisfaction. peace. bliss. mess. and what not. Infact i had waited for this "job" the past 4 months. the wait did not go in vain.

whatever. however. 'It' did prompt me to think.

whether this "job" was an Art or Science.

Location of " Job " : Lloyds Apartments ( Akka's house)
In charge of : Shreya
The Job : Baby sitting

Shreya is my ' marumaa' or sister's daughter who is just 4 months old. After missing her " Punyaavachanam" , My wait to see her finally ended in my recently concluded trip to madras. and i had a earful of her sweet but shrill cum splitting voice.

She gave me fresh insights into the delightful world of cute little kids/ babies. ( perhaps the reason why i chose to give a presentation on my passion - cute li'l kids- in my comm skills course, a month back )

i have pretty much experience in handling these kids ranging from 2 years and over. that is they can recognise you. talk to you. and sometimes even understand u ( and overstand / outstand etc) . so the "Job" was not really that difficult.

but welcome to the world of just borns. u have a challenge , i can assure.

As far as the debate as to whether the Job was about Arts or Science, i tried experimenting with it :-

the trouble shooting , the way i used to earlier in my chem engg career ( if at all i did manage any) was sth i was close to stumbling on, in this baby sitting exercise. call it a new sphere of management. KM. not knowledge management.

Kozhanthai Management!!!!!!!!

these days management is one of the most talked abt word.

now kozhanthai management is all abt ur 'soft' skills. communication skills. non verbal communication, at that, for these new borns. ofcourse we always had an overdose of it in our e-schools and b-schools. but the demand is high, solid, immediate and inescapable when it comes to new borns. better face the music now. or u may never face any music ( ur eardrums wd have become redundant by then)

so what cd have been a side spliiting experience ends up being an earsplitting experience - and i decide to answer in the affirmative for an algorithmic analysis of a 'shreiking' shreya!!!!!!!!!!!

just as we do elsewhere - get a checklist ready - but make sure u have researched into all the root causes of any 'cry'! the interesting thing abt these lil ones is not a drop of tear appears in their eyes ( i am really serious) . for the din they make, this is hardly expected at all.

true enough - " Child is the father of Man" - considering the way she dictates terms to my akka.

in my typical engineering style, i try to document the causes and possible solutions! the language is called " hope less less" ( much like C++. btw i am hopelessly illiterate wrt computers )

wheeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllll here she goes ..............now...........

has she been given 'nestum'? or milk? ( depends on the time of the day)
if ans = nestum then when was that? if ans = milk then goto step 12
sleep time after nestum = 3 hours. that is, both done after bath. if sleep time <=1.5 hrs and crying = 85 decibels then feed = milk;
if milk = unaccepted; then try " aanai.... aanai...." rocking her back and forth in a sitting position! ( one of the singly powerful technique i have seen)
if " aanai aanai" = ineffective then take her to UMAACHI room and teach her UMAACHI KAAPAATHU. this is my own technique. this also works at times. small kids can communicate with GOD in their own special manner. so it is not surprising that PERUMAL pacifies her. sometimes PERUMAL decides that she gotta fun for some more time [ much to our discomfort -:)]. so the wheeeeeeeeeeeling does not stop.
one more issue. who said kids dont have ego? try giving milk a bit late to these lil ones....they go on strike refusing to drink. what more they spit it outside. thats their way of teasing u ( child - father of man - Ahem).
now if the din is not done, time to check her diapers. when was the last time u changed diapers - if time >= 4 hrs then better change it and observe.
let her do the expurgation if any.
if wheeling = continue then check for diaper rash; apply cream
try moving her up and down making crazy sounds. she may end up giving u glances as though u were insane and she is perfectly normal! ( i really mean this!)
now comes the tech savvy part! akka has a projector to watch movies full screen. and shreya relishes watching it. this is one sure shot way of calming her down! btw a normal tv soap wd do as well. 'kolangal' and 'Anandham' btw are her fav picks. now i understand the logic of using soaps to calm her. after seeing ppl on soaps cry, she does not want to contribute more water to chennai ( by crying), what with already chennai reeling under these unprecedented rains! ( i guess we shd ban all tamil soaps if chennai is to be saved from this demolishing deluge)
if last milk time - nowtime >= 1 hr then feed = milk : goto step 4
if nothing has worked so far ; blame it on 'electra complex' . the father daughter special attachment theory ( this is really true. of me and my akka and appa atleast). now all 'athimber' has to do is look into her eyes and say ' ondi maa' and she giggles as if she is floating on soap bubbles.
now she has calmed down almost. yes. btw she has transferred all her tension unto you :D
a caveat; dont habituate her to taking in ur lap or carrying her around! if u then try leaving her on a rubber sheet - her decibel levels may blast past 200. and ur music system will get insulted!!!!!!

Even as i had painstakenly tried to trouble shoot, most of the times athimber solves it in a jiffy.

need i say more whether Art or is it science that rulzzzzzz in this "Job" ?

so thats how the saga of an amateur baby sitter ends....well wonder how akka manages it.

All day. Every day. Full play. Shreya's way.

oru "O" podanum Akka ku!!!!

Pooja's Rough Book

2005-12-25T21:15:00.000-08:00

I have had the privelege of browsing through her rough book.

and I was not disappointed for the note was filled with some interesting stuff [atleast i found it interesting :))] amidst other run of the mill and mundane scribblings (yea the academic stuff)

The setting:

teacher not in class. class leader 'minding' the class. so students converse in writing.

- the excerpts of the conversation that transpired between her and her friend ----

Other artistes - prathiba.... and roshini (guest appearance).

[their names changed to preserve identities ughh!!!! - ithu romba over illaa????]

Related acronyms :

poo for pooja
prat for prathiba

okay here goes -

poo: dear prathiba, i told u to not tell this matter to anyone. why did u tell this matter to roshini?

prat: in toilet, u only told to tell this matter to roshini

poo: no. when did i tell? and dont show any letter to roshini. yes or no?

prat: i told her the matter . what to do now?

poo: ok ! but dont tell anyone else now.

roshini: okay pooja.

poo: i dont want roshini's answer. i want your answer prathiba.

prat: ok. i wont tell others.

poo: ok. change the topic. we will speak about something else.

prat: no i am doing it with roshini.

poo: what are u doing with roshini?

prat: we are writing story.

prat: ok. we'll play.

poo: ok. u start.

prat: how are you?

poo: fine how are u?

prat: fine. how are your forin studies?

poo: its fine. but your searching for work.no. i will give you work in forin.

prat: hey. i am not searching for work. i am already a vet in america.

poo: but paati told your searching for work.

prat: no i dint tell you that i am searching for work.

poo: okay. leave that off. now u just draw a picture that u are a ghost and trying to kill me.

[ a terrifying pic of a ghost - or a lookalike follows - drawn by prat =))

poo: it is like a doll and a smoke.

prat: gosts will be like this only.

poo: we will play tic tac toe

[ shows a tic tac toe 3 by 3 matrix]

prat: no. it is boring.

poo: it is not boring for me.

prat: hay please write the topic is friends or parler

poo: how to play?

prat: tick any one. we play that topic.

poo: what should i tick?

prat: tick your favorite

poo: you dint give options at all. how can i tick?

prat: i gave options

[in the sentence prat:hay please write the topic is friends or parler
- tick marked on parler - now]

prat: welcome to our parler.

poo: i want to do facesial.

prat: please take your seat. we'll do our project.

[ a pic of a girl with boff hair - i cant see any 'facesial' done on the girl!!!!]

bell rings....trrrrrringgggggggg....class over.

now full time vetti for another 10 mins :))

PS:

Acknowledgements to pooja who had sat beside dictating to me for over half an hour in writing this post.all blog directions - font, colour, style of writing were also advised by pooja.

btw, pooja is my li'l cousin sis , studyin 3rd std now.

flashback:

i was an innocent, ignorant and a dumb child when i was in 3rd std. kids these days are way too smart i guess!!!!

Is Chennai a Nightmare for Non Tamilians ????

2005-12-19T10:41:00.000-08:00

I cant say how many times exactly. or how frequently either!

what????

i mean we have these discussions like who wants to work in what kind of places in "Mera Bharat Mahan" .

i start the usual ramayan like " I love chennai. Chennai is Heaven" and more. what was till now going like a normal time pass discussion suddenly turns dead serious.

Is it with the name itself, I tend to think. For Chennai in hindi can be read as " Chen Nahi".

looks like i am doing a PJ or sth. But i am serious abt this issue atleast ( if not for any issue so far in my life). I wd never hate to hate anybody who attacks chennai.

okay lets get serious here.

the accusation against chennai starts now. in full flow. worst city to live for a non tamilian says one. yet another says he had frightful experiences in chennai. like, one was nearly robbed of his belongings by an auto guy here. two years back, yet another told me that he was robbed in a local train. a strange but irrelevant coincidence here. both were biharis. worse still, a kannadiga says his bangalorean friends had become tired of being prey to money fleecers and cheats. that, the moment a chennaite finds that a guy is from outside, he is gonna take him for a ride. I defend saying these things do happen everywhere. not so only with chennai. I have been to delhi and bbay. and found all these auto and taxi guys trying to fleece me. ofcourse i get experienced after that.

ofcourse we all know abt our own " extra ordinary aurorickshaws "! they never charge ordinary fare. (meter ku mela pottu kudunga ). meter a thaan mela podanum !!!! but the agony rarely ends here.

it is quite imaginable if some uneducated rogue tries to take adv of a helpless outsider. hope quite a few wd have read abt that unsavoury incident where am IIM L graduate was beaten up and manhandled at Bangalore Rly stn and robbed of his belongings. i am talking abt B'Lore RLY police. so what is it with chennai that they dont see elsewhere??

Hmmmm.

Now take for instance the case of chennai software companies . a young female friend, a mumbaite who got married recently and settled with her husband in chennai finds life painful at TCS there. She is shocked everybody talks only in tamil at office. It would not be an exaggeration to say that she was nearly in tears at the way her office ppl treat her. and she begs for a transfer to bombay.

One friend who worked in Infy, Chennai says all the project discussions take place in tamil. When the project leader was requested to conduct the meetings in english, he refused saying that he will lose grip over his team if he does not talk in tamil.

water problem, mourns other. as one puts it, in the infy campus, when young lovers discuss abt water problem during their lunch sessions, amidst thousand other topics, guess how trying it has been. atleast i think, the problem is sorted now. but, we now have a problem of plenty, though :)

One more friend starts arguing that the chennai population has never been to the likes of other major metros. the reason being, outsiders will never want to settle here at all!!!! boy, does he have a point?

If there has been some sortof uneasiness towards non tamils, this, by one of the thousand illiterate guys, it cd be understood. even bbay has its own spat with bihar. the one that happened recently at JJ hospital. Nitish dials Maharashtra CM to take care of biharis in bbay. Maharashtra has the issue with karnataka over Belgaum. With Shiv Sena threatening dire consequences if Karnataka is going to treat marathis badly in Belgaum. there is a already a movement going on for having a marathi recognition for that area. Why, Kannadigas manhandled Tamlis in bangalore, a decade back! all these things say that chennai may not be the only one at fault.

but wait.

the two instances with reputed software companies is not sth we can imagine. even if we say that they cd have been stray incidents, it still reflects how bad this attitude has been towards ppl who are mingling with chennaites as one among us.

I have worked in bbay and a few more places in gujarat. and can never cite such an instance that the guys working with me cd talk only gujarathi or marathi. they do sometimes, but ofcourse not in meetings or with issues of such importance to work as is a project discussion if i am not mistaken.

Personally, my own best friends have been a lot of non tamils both at college and at my work place. to this day back in college.

I dont know how many more chennaites will agree to this post. they wd have had their own experiences from their non tamil friends. or even others who work in comapnies with non tamil colleagues. they can sure come up with totally different responses.

But what I really wish to know is this.

whether Chennai is all that dreadful to scorn at outsiders. I wish I have operated so far purely on teh basis of Bounded Rationality theory.

I wish a fellow chennaite gives me an opposing point of view. that things are not really this bad. that more outsiders had really gud fun working / studying here. that chennai will remain in their list of best places to work and settle.

I wish to be contradicted without compromise. I wish chennai be spelt as Chen-hai !!!!

(and I wish I get the opportunity to return and settle in chennai:))

My Idol - Darren Hayes

2005-12-16T04:16:00.000-08:00

Yet another boring day in life. the mind does not respond to the fact that i have to finish this executive summary asap. I try different things. I lock myself in a room, see the same plan again and again to get the executive summary perfect. The coziness of the chennai climate and my eternal laziness form the perfect combo, as i remain blank, unable to add value to the report.
Darren hayes is slowly penetrating into my body, mind and soul. I lie down, totally clueless.

guess just the right kind of atmos to get another blog on the wall. and Darren takes it all.

Darren Hayes came into my life just as i was finishing my engg. it ws not to be just another pop artist in my life. I listen to a bit of carnatic (thanks to appa and paati), a bit of movie songs (mostly A.R. Rahman) and then some english light pop songs ( no rock songs).

Music is sth i usually listen to free my mind, just as anybody else does. But Darren Hayes was meant to load my mind. like ppl take to drinking occasionally.

A bit of history. Darren Hayes is an Australian Pop Singer, a former singer of the famous band " Savage Garden" along with Daniel Jones ( the lead guitarist). They had some problems about three years back or so. Daniel wanted to get into admin stuff of the band Darren wanted to lay more stress on music. Finally they had to kiss Good Bye .

so why Darren was special to me? I have been listening to a lot of these chocolate pop bands. I keep listening to these kind of lyrics - If i let u go, I wanna be with u , I love u and more of such crap. to write abt love is what even Darren does. but theres a passion, a fire, a thought and a real feeling. the fever of his mood used to spread to me many a times. and love is not the only thing. he touches every whisper of life.

The music is , more towards techno. but techno music is not that easy if u want to explain the feeling of a mood and a song in the way that it shd be. ofcourse guitar is the key component here too. I am not trying to compare with Pink Floyd or Dire Straits. they have had their own brand of music. they were geniuses. agreed. but here was a guy, who had a really amazing voice and a way of letting these inside emotions explode. The malleability of voice is beyond imagination ( whats the music terminology, yodelling?). if u wd want to check out, thers no substitute for self listening.

I have maybe listened to just around 30 odd songs of his. the latest album being, " Tension and the Spark". I have downloaded all lyrics and usually read it as he sings. and for me, every song , in that manner, was not abt humming a tune, it was an experience in itself.

My favourite songs ( my fav will be more lyrics based than the music itself) include
Tension and the spark - I like the way, void, Light, Unlovable,
Affirmation - affirmation, crash and burn, You can still be free, Gunning down romance, Animal Song.
Spin - Like it or not, Good enough, What u like
Savage Garden - part one - Universe, To the moon and Back, promises , carry on dancing etc

Just to give u a feel . In his song, "Light" - He points to the stages of light inside every life as : Light first flickers, then blisters and finally glitters. the lyrics are subjective and one can draw their own inferences depending upon their interpretation.

The deathly pale effect of his music adds to the lyrics in leaving u in a state of enigma.

In his song " Affirmation" he lists out his beliefs sth which every one will mostly agree, that are a very touching part of our own lives. He sings " I believe in Karma, what u give is what u get return; I believe that we place our happiness in other people's hands "

In " Gunning down Romance, one can see the way he portrays love . not just another goody goody kind of thoughts. more satire. more pain.

He starts as " Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in ur brain; feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in ur vein; "

"Unlovable" lyrics can be aptly said as the height of frustration; his agony knows no bounds.

In " I Like the Way" , for eg, he starts with " Somewhere inside my evolution, Karmically I seek retribution; Looking for love in physical beauty, Desire is the drug of the Bourgeise "

and he further writes
" The decadence of giving into desire, creates such entropy within;
Looking for love in spiritual faces, blind to the art of fabrication "

and finally ends as " Temptation tempts the temptee" !!!!

lots more to say on each of his songs. i have a summary to finish. time i quit this board and get into that. Listen and feel Darren, and u will not be left barren, for sure!!!!

the simplest way to reach his lyrics is the golden world in web technology - GOOGLE

Harini's name is Nithya

2005-12-12T06:52:00.000-08:00

End of Blog

Last Minute - Last one - Why it happens to me everytime???? - Part 2

2005-12-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

okay u heard me clear and loud in my prev blog !!!!

That was a typical college life happening. youthful and colourful. They say life gets serious in work life. and it usually does.

IT DID !!!!

move one step, outside the college and land up in the wonderful world of a chemical engineer. yes, six months into a chemical engineering job can ensure adequate doses of delusions. that of tripping extruders (plant lingo) and hammering pipelines with steel rods ( yes, one of the major skills a chemical engineer in a polymer plant shd possess) all thro the night ( shift).

add to it an endless rotating shift life (morning, afti, night shifts cyclically) - 24 hrs running plant - work for 16 hrs (double shifts) occasionally - sleeping for 16 hrs straight- breakfast at 5 PM - being drowsy most of the times - parents mistake u to be an inveterate drunkard ( from the way u attend to their calls) and the like.

To cut a long story short, my chemical engineering life was chemically choking, mechanically mocking, electrically shocking, instrumentally locking and biologically blocking!!!!

and it makes sure u get all the driving force to determine the easiest exit path! only if exits were so easy. not so easy if u want to put a big kumbudu to chemical industry and remove the tag of a chemical engineer........yeah i was kind of Tagged!!!!!!!

In this country they say, if u are not gud at anything, try management. all u have to do is to do some showbusiness, pick some weird jargons, speak in a semi american accent (lucky for a call centre exp guy) and u've almost made it big in life. so tried my hand at the obvious. koncham seriousness reqd to clear admission process.

The 'last minute...." syndrome ( btw i had started to develop an affection for it lately) was to catch up with me (just like death catches up with survivors in the final destination).

FMS exam: Timing - 2 PM : venue bombay. common sense tells in bombay u have to keep a 1 hr margin for any journey u undertake. that is if travel goes smoothly. and without any surprises. had to travel from vashi to VT. a typical 1 hr journey (if u go by train). that is only the active travel time ( taking into account the walking down, up catching auto etc.)

nice breakfast at chithi's place. aracha kozhambu and saathumudhu ( thair is ofcourse always there). but that was never going to be enough.

and they say u have to chill just before exam to crack a gud paper. but i have a knack of overdoing things ( in my spl own way).

now how to chill????

"Enakku 20 Unakku 18" film ( meaning I am 20, You are 18) . nice dvd print. that was to be the final touch to the exam prep. Romba thevai!

started the movie at around 9.45 am. by the time the movie finishes, its already12.15 PM. okay cool it, i am the master of trainodynamics in bbay, i assure myself and leave for the exam finally.

12.30 pm i am at teh vaashi station.

now what? the coolest thing that can happen when u r on ur way to a competitive exam!
The local trains - the lifeline of bombay - specifically the harbour line ones - the ones exactly between my examination centres ( exactly, again by DESIGN) have been cancelled! oh boy, all my travel calculations were created on a basis that has just disappeared into thin air. that is the proverbial weakness of engineers. they are analytical not creative, to imagine of situations like these!!!!!!!!! if anybody has a different view, atleast these are true of me!

now the beauty is , all buses outside stn are jampacked, thanks to cancellation of local trains.

and due to my extraordinary luck then, i had no single bus to get to my centre. worse still, i barely knew what buses and how to get to my exam centre.

i can hear u all. height of irresponsibility and frivolity even in a career defining stage.

all i cd do is wait and then manage to just get one hand and one toe ( not even a foot) into a bus, which i had no idea where it was going or where i had to get down. after all, for a start i atleast needed to avoid seeing the damn vashi stn atleast. i never got so sick of that station in my life.

had to change buses midway. and reached somewhere close to VT. and then a taxi to get to the centre. once in the centre, had to search for classrooms endlessly ( screw the college. it was more like a jigsaw piece of architecture).

2.05 PM, papers were already being distributed. and here i was, so late, as if I just had a major meeting with some damn diplomat.

well I am truly tired of mentioning the same result as in prev blog- somehow i cd feel jaspal bhatti, with his thick beard, roaring hideously right over my head.

sodhappal of a collosal kind uhhhh?????????

ofcourse in that year I managed to clear one exam but again due to lack of interview prep was chucked out in the final stage. i dont want to get into all those irrelevant things.

now for the mother of all episodes -

one more year passed by (yes painfully) and the ritual of application for MBA seemed to start. CAT was over. time for JMET ( for the uninitiated, that is the exam for mgmt in IITs)......

look at the sequence of events:))

1. Applied to jmet. but the hall ticket did not seem to come. finally exactly one day before i was to leave for bombay from gujarat, the hall ticket came knocking to my apartment. it was apparently doing teh rounds at bharuch town and in all the departments of my chemical plant complex, according to reliable sources!!!!

2. GOD'S GRACE, exam was thro. now time for interview. again the IITB interview call letter did not come (luckily three other letters did) . this one had gone all the way to chennai. how cd they send it there i thought. that too late enough. for an interview slated for feb 28th, i recieved the letter on 27th, at my relatives place where my parents had couriered.

3. interview over. after that realised that yet another year of hardwork was going to the dumps. results were out. waitlisted. that too reasonably far. The benovelent and benign seniors ( @ IITB) took enough care to assure me that it was impossible for me to clear such a high waitlist.

4. again GOD gave an opportunity by clearing the waitlist two months after the result had been originally announced. i get only the mail. my luck with call/offer letter had become so ridiculous that again no sign of the letter. still okay. i make a draft for the fee payment and decide to courier it. i manage to find a courier shop, not so popular. atleast it cannot be notorious i thought. had i walked 100 ft ahead, i cd have managed professional couriers. but then i am a resigned fatalist. my fate ensured that i dispatch my fee thro that courier shop.

5. that was on 24th july. 31st was the last date for fee reciept at IIT-B. after giving the courier, i try calling IIT every day checking out whether my draft was recieved or not. a day passed, one more, and one more....no signs of draft being recieved at IIT. it was 30th.now. sth was terribly wrong somewhere.

to get an admission after two years was itself painful. and now after that u are abt to get chucked because of some damn ( damn is one of my fav words in english) courier guy who cd never ever understand taht i he was screwing my life so badly without possibly knowing it....

6. i go back to that courier shop to check. he says all couriers were dispatched to some distribution centre. i go there with pink courier challan and accost that shop owner as to what fate they had handed out to my draft and to me. we pore over all records to find out the history and geography of my courier. he takes a close look at my challan and says it was a wrong challan they courier guy had used ( apparently a white one shd have been used for out stn couriers)....here i was holding a pink slip ( yeah i had resigned a nice paying job, for tis degree, and now holding a pink slip, exactly)

then we again drive back to the original shop. now i start to raid the shop as if i were from IT dept ransacking a bloody bureaucrat's apartment ( on the basis of a complaint powered by Right To Information Act).........only to find my courier absoultely safe....

where do u think?????

in a crude corner well hidden by a gigantic xerox machine. the last place u can ever find a letter of immense importance.......

i was too tired to start a brawl and too happy to complain....i cd not ever imagine to find my draft in this manner. anyhow hopped to professional couriers to send that draft.

the tricky part was the same day i was leaving for coimbatore from chennai for my cousin's marriage. if i ws not going to find the draft, i was not even in a position to think whether i wd have made it to the marriage, what with all my cousins and relatives rocking the whole house up and down.

checked with IITB next day ( the last date for submission) to find that the draft was safe ( for a change in the hands of the admin dept).......phew!!!!!!!!!

now what on earth can u call that kind of experience??????

btw this is B-136, Hostel 13, IIT Bombay reporting this tearful ordeal to u .

How was that??????

( i wish nalini chithi wd read this post, will ya plzzzzzzzz??????)

Last Minute - Last one - Why it happens to me everytime???? # 1

2005-12-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

There are two things to life.

1. Life changes continuously....
2. Yet there are certain constants in life....

I am not talking of a theory that says something always changes in life so that something else remains constant.

what has remained nearly constant in my life?

okay let me explain further : -

It started right from the time before joining college. After a miserable 4339 rank in TNPCEE, and padu flop in Board Exams, getting free seat in a decent ( how do we measure decent?) college is a real fight.

looking at the admission screen in anna university can create hormone surges, particularly when u see the so called open seats are gobbled up while the 'reserved' seats literally crawl. so much for meritrocracy.

so finally one last free seat for chemical engineering in VIT was in the waiting.... and i cd see a good 25 ppl ahead of me in the line. that is desperation defined. all set for climactic finish.

however GOD DECIDED that i was the one even if the last one. and so did the saga of chemical engineering in VIT start.

but this was just the start!!!!

why???? take a look:)

one year in VIT - enough of mugging - Frustration again, write JEE once more.

As if by design it happens to me, the University physics exam and IITJEE physics exam clash.

morning 10 AM - univ exam at vellore - Afti 2 PM - JEE physics at chennai!!!!

change plans- JEE centre shifted to TIRUPATHI. finish Univ exam at 11:15 AM - examiner looks askance at me- get into the car booked for the journey.

reach TIRUPATHI 30 mins before start of exam. only to find our names ( 2 more with me, sandy and praveen) missing from the list of examinees ( btw, does such a word exist?)

after running around here and there, we find our names at the last minute.

result of exam - flop again :) ....bright spot? atleast passed the university physics exam. no arrear. suprisingly i got a score of 77 in the paper for 75 minutes of scribbling.

What next? 3 more years to kuppa kottify in VIT. what else? But the next adventure is already in waiting....

CAT Maze- RAT Race : --

exam at 10 AM. my (bloody) buddy sandy ( that rhymes) gets up at 8. 15 and successfully completes a single cup of filter coffee in 45 mins ( sandy did that taste so good?) . we start at 9 AM. the centre takes around 20 mins by bike in a free road, and 35 mins if u manage to get caught in every signal ( and the way is only full of signals).

no sooner did i start the vehicle ( bajaj pride it was ), the bike was skidding. flat tyre. great start. nalla sagunam. apparam enna, we walk till the nearest bike station. clock says 9.10. As the mechanic repairs the puncture, 9.27 now. okay we have less time, so adrenalin pumped up and so did the accelerator. the bike had two rear view mirrors, protruding so beautifully. as if murphy always rules, the next lafda ( hindi for bejaaru) turns up.

zooming at a high speed, the light weight vehicle that it was, control was difficult. add a sandy road to it ( uh one more sandy, all the lafdas of the day have been dedicated to sandy).

cartload of tomatoes towards us. i try to move out of the way. the rear view mirror does not think so. it gets caught into the cart ( one more painful rhyme)

i manage to keep the bike on road. meanwhile my partner is tasting sand 50 ft behind . tomatoes strewn all over the road. 10 ppl around us . 9.35 time. interesting situation.

after sporting innocent faces amidst begging them that we have an exam, we manage to get out of the mess.

after having to put up with the signals as well, we reach exam hall at the lastminute.

now profusely sweating during the exam.

result of exam - fundoo flop.

had a written test for a s/w company immediately after CAT.

CAT usually requires u to shade answer bubbles marked 1,2,3,4. the written test was to be answered as A,B,C,D. ended up writing 1,2,3,4 in my test answer sheet.

result? even after getting all Qs right, the stupid company said, i cannot mark anything different from A,B,C,D and chucked me out. meanwhile, in all the hungama that ensued in the accident, the silencer of the bike had given away and started giving eeriee noises like that of a bullet bike/Rajdoot.

thanda selavu athukku mela. for repairing the silencer.

phew........have a kitkat.

more in the next blog

tata

The life of a mysterious and mediocre thengalai iyengar - #1

2005-12-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

The mysterious life of a chemical engineer....every bit hard that was to bear!!!! guys two years ( tears to be precise) of an unexpected alliance with reliance , if not been more fruitful, has built a lot of resilience in silence....

but wait....

these two years also taught me to enjoy misery which is also a memory to carry forth in life....to put in lucid taste, the leftover waste, i am gonna dump in here, pls get ready i shoot here my life experience ....kind of a lifetime experience....a life which cd have been wonderful in many ways but then screwd in totality all solely beacuse of a persona non grata - that is me.....

i wish to divide my miseries in stages for two chief reasons: one, u will have something to read and pass time on a daily basis.... two, for the global fact that ppl prefer to multiply joys and divide sorrows ( tch this itches thoroughly) before i get to lament on my fate ( which now atleast is not half as bad as it cd have actually been) i shall start the sojourn from the time of passing from my college....

i shall dvelve in detail the machogiri displayed in the route to misery. pls start looking for further posts if u find it worthwhile to waste time on listening to my ramblings for a while pls also fill in ur expert comments....whenever and wherever relevant and appropriate

yours frustatingly,
ara

Mediocre life - VIT Life begins - # 2

2005-12-07T12:02:00.000-08:00

Life provides ample reasons and opportunities for untold surprises....so what is the Q? everybody faces the vissitudes of life....no one is a virgin, everyone is screwed. but whether a lone individual can be eternally commited to lafdas is a thought worth introspecting....

here goes a blow by blow account of how worse things were already, continued to be so and that at a rate each overshadowing the previous.

it all began with a rather uneventful college life. a chosen one....to screw oneself. a college i was destined by join for there was this last chemical engineering seat begging to be taken by a champu who had no inkling of what a chemical engg degree was to provide him in life....(till date this funduchemguy aka FCG has never discovered the difference between a B.E and a B.Tech Degree, while also least interested in knowing the same), after miserably flunking the JEE. For a fact of life, totally bungled up the HSC and TN entrance exams in the name of JEE. and i stood there gazing at the admission screen desperately hoping to get that last seat in VIT. Finally by the end of the day, thanked my stars that i almost sneaked into this insti, the one i were to hate later every bit.

The insti , situated a good 2 hrs travel by a superfast train was reason enough to disappear from college every given chance ( perhaps not just given but taken chances too) and i found my saviour in brindavan and kovai express which were to transport me to and fro....so much so that i had to include them in my vote of thanks in my farewell note on my college convocation.

Railway stations were to become my second home ,a three month train pass - passport to my immediate future, railway stall pongal and cocunut chutney my staple diet, college studies - a forgotten commitment and finally my future - a foregone conclusion.

VIT Life full flow - # 3

2005-12-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

life had started and was in full flow....routine was set and the new order of my life was seeming to commence....

the first year at college.... the first year was different and difficult in many ways. there was this utterly new hostel (or hostile as u may deem fit) life that was literally strangling me. then those stupid classes - doing the same variety of problems one by one as though we were only coached for a degree. now coaching is a bit euphemistic ....poaching wd have been apt. and the worst of the lot - the engineering drawing . i shall not hurry thro all these....there is a beauty in each one of them....and it is not fair to give a cursory attention to them.

hostel life....i never had a better companion than brindavan exp , during college. life wd have been extremely cruel if not for this angel, the angel on wheels of the deccan pride. basically calling myself a hosteller wd be to heap insults to my fellow hostel mates. particularly when u dont stay there at weekends and the most part of the weekdays are spent at college lecture halls. but yes....whatever little i have seen of hostel , i remember....a bizarre incident....

a hostel warden - a semi dude, bespectacled, frowny, corpulent, poorly humourous insaan. a nice little evening we had with our share of cricket and we entered teh hostel....

all we cd see was approximately 29 heads, nearly 13 of them stinking with neem oil, 6 of them as dry as baked brick resembling the kinds of our first year civil engg text books. rest i dont remember....imagine 29 heads bucled into one giant heap looking at a 20cm *20cm notice board....that calls for some thinking.... it was never crowded, i mean the small potico and the lone notice board - till then it was one unnoticed board....but then that was one fateful day of reckoning for this .