Poor Planning of Time ( PPT)

how can one be happy and sad at the same time?

welcome to Bschool life....to the period most sought after. the placement time..infact the only reason why ppl take pains of CAT n a host of other exams..the dreams of dreams of every Bschooler after u r bored of mugging for exams n thot enough was enough n thot its time to think abt companies, careers n conveniences in contemporary times....Bravo! u hv landed into the drudgery of placement period. endless ruthless sessions of Pre Placement Talks aka PPTs.

after attending around 20-25 sessions around its time for introspection....soul searching ( well def soulmate searching was a better job anyday!)

There is structure even in the most fuzzy n messy of things in the universe. and so one can correlate between the crazy comonalities between the preponderances of ppts that paralyse progressive thinking and promote parochial potentialities in the minds of the many dozen scapegoats scathed by soporific sermons of terrifying tycoons of corporate bharat!

i m not alone. i hv got 57 companions to share our grievances. we are having a ball of a time here....and the exercise of attending such talks is the base for experimenting ur theories of how companies operate in boardrooms. The insider view of the placement talks by corporates in B schools with complete histrionics all included.

know what! its been a long while since i ever posted. i cud not hit on a particular idea. but now. the great indian laughter challenge has been well exhibited by these phenomena occuring in the fag end of the year in mgmt schools across the country..i m literally famished. after 8 hours of torture. 6.5 hrs that too almost continuous with a brk of 5 mins only. i reach my room irritated no less but decide i hv to write sth to vent my anger. btw yeah all of us need jobs. but why do the corporates need to make us pay so much for the same.

Disclaimer:

not all companies had troubled us so much. but some really did. and its abt time that we got a break....(tomm a marathon 6 ppts spanning another 12 hr day i guess)

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So here we are. the time shows 9 am. we were "warned" by placecom ppl that we better be there spot on time. or pay 200 rupiah. without a cycle, n not enough sleep either..we can just limp all the way to som n reach by 9.05 hrs. tell u what, the seminar room is dead calm. very serious i think. no? one peep will show that ppl r showing "Casino Royale" until the HR decides to appear to show what they hv on offer.

so the session starts at 9.30 if u r lucky enough. the ranting starts here. we have picked up a few jargons that has been a striking feature of ppts.

Open work culture:

yes we all know that. means u r open to scrutiny. u better behave in office. no yahoo. no orkuts. no blogs. excuse me IT ppl here even considered asking companies whether they allow employees to allow installation of yahoo messenger. IT makkal thirunthave maataalaa????

Case to Case basis:

one of the best jargons used dangerously by companies when asked abt compensation details. when asked how they wd value work experience n what wd be general slab for say a 2 yr work ex guy....the reply is shot at the speed of (E/M)^0.5! everything is case to case. atleast one shd work for kingfisher or a bacardi so that u can get more case to case benefits.

Performance Driven assessment :

Try asking how long wd u take to move thro the ladder at each stage in the corporate circus show n pat comes the answer that they hv pure meritocracy ( huh..so did we say aristocracy? cant u throw some ballpark figure? ) and whats more the fastest it takes from one level to another is 6 months i heard!!!! can u believe it? yeah at that rate the ppl who gave jobs wd have to find fresh jobs in 3 years time!! well....i shd consider taking their interviews!!!!

Dirtying ur hands

and they say u hv to do all donkey work n dirty ur hands. the most abused phrase ( and my fav too) i was left imagining of a situation i always confronted at home....street cricket..i hv dirtied my hands so many times out there on the street....think of it , the likes of reckitt benkiser ( mfr dettol) has good business ahead with such policies promoted by companies.

Analytical Skills:

u need it in plenty. coz they say the job is very demanding. u hv to think on ur feet ( and stand on ur head or what?? Grrrrrrr.....!!!!). and think out of the box. well first get me a box!

Super Jargons: ( IT special)

like integrating all ur applications on a common platform well networked with the rest of teh systms and sandwiched between upper ware, lowerware, middleware , tupperware etc....and leverage the existing potential of the varios capabilities n provide high end visibility of data in enterprise applications for sound decision making....(phew!!!! the effects of sitting in an AC room 24*7 i guess ; - )..what say?

Leadership Programmes :

Like u can be provided state of the art training with rigorous classroom sessions building capabilities( soporofic capabilities)....guess what u r sent to UK, US, Singapore, Malaysia for the same....wonder why go so far when i can sleep even standing in a train journey..yeah networking is a must. take a look at fotos with swimming pools et al....we all now know what networking is....

Passion for work :

well instead...we ask the company..how abt some compassion....passion is meant for 'other' things ;-)

well there r many more....but i need to get to work now....i hardly have time for that :(