Some dilemma

I was feeling down for the past few days....

i knew the pressure was getting to me. it was one of those times i had to make those crucial decisions. i know it is not unusual . for anyone to make such decisions in some part(s) of their life. but the Q was why i shd have been in a such a wrangle.

anyway....

it was one Early saturday morning when i woke up. 11 AM.

With eyes half opened, i managed to grab a toothpaste and a brush and made my way to the wash basin. as i started my job (of brushing) suddenly sth seemed to hit me ( not physically). i meant a thought hit me. on observing my face on the mirror.

what i saw might not be sth totally surprising. but it was still was kind of . atleast for me.

what did i see?

A single little white hair in my moustache.

but, i had no such white thing in my beard. and this little one seemed to disturb me. by waking me upto reality. reminding me that," boss, ur time is running out, and it wont be too long when u step out of college, u will be left with one black hair and none more"

i retired back to my room with a heavy heart. thinking abt this deeply. and i shared this misery
to my friends. dint get any solace though.

A day or two passed. certain flash backs started playing.
One month back:-

I usually have a clean shaven face. and I decided to give this one a try. a french beard. after all only in college can u experiment things. nobody cares how u look. and even if they, u need not care a damn for that. once u get into corporate life, u cant fool around with ur looks. u start living for others. worrying abt stupid things and all. and they attach a term. corporate dignity. or some such crap. so i decided to consciously pursue this decision. NOW.

i knew the kind of protest it wd instigate back at madras. running the risk of my father disowning me. and paati ( my fav) wd be pained. at such (stupid)antics. anyway i had decided to take the plunge.

and i did.

and one night i had gotten sleep way too early. 11pm. all of a sudden one friend appeared from nowhere. i just sat up half awake. without a warning, he took out of his mobile camera, took a foto of my sleepy face, with this french beard. well. i thought. i might as well mail this home. to paati and appa. let them see how it looks now itself. maybe when i reach home, they might get accustomed to my face with 'that'.

the mail did not recieve an encouraging response. however sudha chithi did call up and warned me against removing this french beard. and i did not refuse.

landed up at home. few days later. grand welcome ofcourse from appa, amma and paati on my arrival.

next morning.

the ' discussion' started as i was browsing this indian express.

appa and paati started off in unison.

that they were deeply 'grieved'. at this 'incident' .

what???? grieved??????

and u call this " incident" ????

after much of parrying, i got away with their compulsions. mostly all chithis approved of this french thing. and some chithappas. amma din like it too. but she does not opine much in these things.

this tamashaa continued for ten days. then thot, i just wanted an opinion on this. and got it from all quarters. so remaining three days, i shd keep appa and paati happy as well. so got back to my original clean look. yeah. it generated animated expressions in their faces.

and they said " ippo thaan daa u r true iyengar".

wait. i was the first among 'perans' in my whole family to complete upanayanam. and even " samaashanam" along side previous generation. to get into the league of " Sri Vaishnava". I dont understand these jargons. . atleast for namesake, i can mention these. and how come i become this " true iyengar" all of a sudden. after these many years of service. anyway.

son enough i was finally back to hostel.

Back to Original Time now: ( and that dilemma)

two days after things seemed to change.

actually kind of started loving that lil white thing. after all not every one gets a single white strand like this. i seemed to enjoy this. and took immense pride in it. and that " sami " thing was playing in the background.

again all 'gud' things come to end. i cud not afford to grow my beard any further. the irritating part is to provide explanations for not shaving. as though, i was doing a 'devdas'. so had to decide on shaving off the whole stuff ( as i either keep some beard or have a "mazha mazha look" ).

and it seemed to be hardest decision i was to take in life). the thought of losing my beloved 'white hair' was too much for me....ultimately, mind prevailed over heart.

i dunno if i have taken the right decision. ( all the while, i tried confirming with junta here whether that 'single' white strand wud appear again with the moustache)....

i only hope it does.

kaalamelaam kaathirupen ;)