Jack or King

I wanted to stay from writing a post atleast till my exams get over which will be next saturday. but then things dont happen they way they are planned out to be. infact just before i was to leave for the exam, this post struck me. anyway i thought i will post after exams. but after todays pathetic ops exam, i wanted to break free. only PERUMAL can bail me out. not that the exam was tough or sth. yeah it was well set though. but i have my own ways of collapsing in the main game. simple problems. but poor application. every problem, screwed the later half . reaffirming the fact that academically i seem to have hit rock bottom and digging deeper. anyway thats my own misery. my own.

well what actually struck me (today morning) was this concept of jacks and kings! we often hear phrases - jack of all trades- master of none.

which is better? jack or master ? tough Q? or is it just that it is subjective?

first, some ppl are extremely gifted! they are really gud at certain things. i mean across a wide spectrum of competitors, they will have their winning their ways. they have formal training in their disciplines. their areas will be limited. but they are the masters in those areas. and so they stick to their core competences. sounds nice and trim.

then, there are ppl, who try doing a lot of things. but their sphere of influence is limited. limited versatility if u can call it. dabbling into a bit of variety. by limited i mean, certain places they are known for sth. other places they are known for being good at other activities. and they are never known for being gud at sth at all the places.

now primarily ppl say unless one is extremely gud at sth there is no use doing many things.

i dont actually do a lot of things. but i atleast tried a few. and mediocre at everything. for example, in my seventh std, my first tryst with music started with veena. i actually wanted to learn singing. but the music teacher told that i was not gud enough for that. so veena started. just when i was picking pace, i ditched it for exams. actually i was not interested in it much.


even after the initial singing fiasco, in 1oth i was lucky to be a part of AIR all india grp competition troupe. so i took it from there. and tried singing at cultural gatherings at college and reliance. luckily i was not thrown out. but still i can never try very high pitches. so there are limitations. and i am a zero at carnatic stuff, though i listen to some selectively. so thats another handicap ( particularly while trying composing)

then in 11th and 12th, i was forced to learn tabla (as part of school curriculam, in that grt school jaigopal gaodia hindu vidyalaya) . i attend the first class of every new lesson.practise for a couple of classes then bunk rest of the classes. and so went on two years. at this stage, though i can try tabla , i might never make it so good.

then after joining engg, started dabbling with small keyboards. though i can try playing or composing, i just cannot use both hands. actually in reliance, i joined a formal keyboard instruction class. but i was bored to learn right from start. all those lil notes and all. so i ditched it as well. so even now playing base as well as lead simultaneously in the keyboard is impossible ( atleast for now)

i had bought a mouth organ, which i tht i wd learn by myself. i did start decently. but now its 6 months since i dusted it. but the good news is its still there. safe and sound.

this is not the case with music. but with sports and other stuff i started in school.

now the crux starts. i sometimes feel that in trying a lot of things ( some involuntary as well, like veena for instance), i had actually lost out in being gud atleast in one thing.

but actually i never wanted to learn any of these things for becoming an exponent. just wanted some fun. and actually in trying out so many instruments (pathetic though) , my ears became more attentive to the nuances of music. and i never set goals for myself. i simply cannot. many a times, i feel there is no point in anything. we just need to live along. try to embrace the spirit of life in a holistic manner rather than doing everything for a purpose. life is too beautiful in narrowing our perceptions to a particular activity.

satisfaction is a process. not a point. when we sing our heart out, it is not the acknowledgement by others that makes us feel good. but the process of singing itself does. that voice within that keeps telling us. life is a journey not a destination. and journey means making new acquaintances. and relishing those memories.

purposive life is the last option that i wd think of falling back on.

but then there is the opposite school of thought. that being the master is the wiser one.

i am not sure. well atleast my school is different.